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Manager C.A.R.E - Exit Interview

Eric M.
March 15, 2020

Manager C.A.R.E - Exit Interview

Exit Interview
"Some things require a human touch."
--
Storyboard sequence written and drawn by Eric T. Martin.
Contact:
eric.t.mart[at]gmail.com

Eric M.

March 15, 2020
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Transcript

  1. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    You can do this. Repeat after me, Exit Interview Page 3/191
  2. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 6 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    "I won't be a cog in this machine anymore. I quit ya hear me!" Exit Interview Page 6/191
  3. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 7 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    "I won't be a cog in this machine anymore. I quit ya hear me!" Exit Interview Page 7/191
  4. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 8 Duration 00:23 Dialog TOPHER

    "I won't be a cog in this machine anymore. I quit ya hear me!" Exit Interview Page 8/191
  5. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 9 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Whoa, whoa, whoa! No so fast there buddy! Exit Interview Page 9/191
  6. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 10 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    What do ya think you'redoin' there pal? Exit Interview Page 10/191
  7. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 11 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    I'm about to finally give this company a piece of my mind! I-I quit! Exit Interview Page 11/191
  8. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 12 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Yikes! That sounds like a big mistake. Maybe I can help. Exit Interview Page 12/191
  9. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 13 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    I'm HR Manager Dave. Exit Interview Page 13/191
  10. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 14 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    And this is Robo-Manager CARE. Exit Interview Page 14/191
  11. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 15 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    What's your name? Exit Interview Page 15/191
  12. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 16 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    My name's Topher. Listen, can this wait? I'm about to finally be free -- Exit Interview Page 16/191
  13. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 17 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    Wait, did you say Robo-Manager? Exit Interview Page 17/191
  14. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 22 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Reassurance Exit Interview Page 22/191
  15. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 25 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    It's the first of our robo-manager response units trained to help in stressful situations like this. Exit Interview Page 25/191
  16. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 26 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    We're testing a new pre-exit interview protocol. Would you be willing to participate in a short field test? Exit Interview Page 26/191
  17. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 27 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    You'll be entered into a raffle for a free 6-month subscription to LinkedIn Premium. Exit Interview Page 27/191
  18. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 28 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    You'll be entered into a raffle for a free 6-month subscription to LinkedIn Premium. Exit Interview Page 28/191
  19. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 29 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    You'll be entered into a raffle for a free 6-month subscription to LinkedIn Premium. Exit Interview Page 29/191
  20. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 30 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    You'll be entered into a raffle for a free 6-month subscription to LinkedIn Premium. Exit Interview Page 30/191
  21. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 31 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    You'll be entered into a raffle for a free 6-month subscription to LinkedIn Premium. Exit Interview Page 31/191
  22. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 32 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    You'll be entered into a raffle for a free 6-month subscription to LinkedIn Premium. Exit Interview Page 32/191
  23. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 33 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    LinkedIn Premium? ...S-sure. Exit Interview Page 33/191
  24. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 34 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Excellent! All right, take it away, CARE. Let's start with 100% compassion level. Exit Interview Page 34/191
  25. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 40 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 40/191
  26. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 41 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 41/191
  27. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 42 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 42/191
  28. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 43 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 43/191
  29. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 44 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 44/191
  30. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 45 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 45/191
  31. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 46 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 46/191
  32. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 47 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 47/191
  33. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 48 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Run away with me. Forget this whole place. We'll rent a car and leave this place behind. Change our names. Exit Interview Page 48/191
  34. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 50 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    And we'll open up that flower show that you've always talked about. Exit Interview Page 50/191
  35. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 51 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    And we'll open up that flower show that you've always talked about. Exit Interview Page 51/191
  36. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 52 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    And we'll open up that flower show that you've always talked about. Exit Interview Page 52/191
  37. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 53 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    And we'll open up that flower show that you've always talked about. Exit Interview Page 53/191
  38. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 54 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    And we'll open up that flower show that you've always talked about. Exit Interview Page 54/191
  39. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 55 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    And we'll open up that flower show that you've always talked about. Exit Interview Page 55/191
  40. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 56 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    And we'll open up that flower show that you've always talked about. Exit Interview Page 56/191
  41. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 58 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    I love you baby, and I -- Exit Interview Page 58/191
  42. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 60 Duration 00:23 Dialog DAVE

    Hehe, whoops! That was the "passion" button, not the "COMpassion" button. Exit Interview Page 60/191
  43. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 61 Duration 00:23 Dialog DAVE

    Hehe, whoops! That was the "passion" button, not the "COMpassion" button. Exit Interview Page 61/191
  44. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 62 Duration 00:23 Dialog DAVE

    (Nervous) Let's try that again. Exit Interview Page 62/191
  45. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 64 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Working gives life purpose. Please reconsider your resignation. Remember our company motto: Exit Interview Page 64/191
  46. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 66 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    "Compliance equals trust!" Exit Interview Page 66/191
  47. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 67 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    What does that even mean?! Exit Interview Page 67/191
  48. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 68 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    No one actually Exit Interview Page 68/191
  49. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 69 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    CARES about me here! Exit Interview Page 69/191
  50. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 70 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    I'm just a battery salesman! A cog in a machine. Exit Interview Page 70/191
  51. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 71 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    The only friends I have are Exit Interview Page 71/191
  52. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 72 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    these Double-A's Exit Interview Page 72/191
  53. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 74 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Hmmm... Okay... Exit Interview Page 74/191
  54. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 75 Duration 00:23 Dialog DAVE

    Let's try reasoning. 70%. Exit Interview Page 75/191
  55. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 76 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Let's try reasoning. 70%. Exit Interview Page 76/191
  56. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 84 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    You currently have 4 potential LinkedIn connections here, Exit Interview Page 84/191
  57. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 86 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    230 unread emails from [email protected]. Exit Interview Page 86/191
  58. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 88 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Surely they will miss you if you leave us. Exit Interview Page 88/191
  59. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 89 Duration 00:23 Dialog TOPHER

    LinkedIn?! No one actually likes to use Linkedin! What the heck is happening here?? Exit Interview Page 89/191
  60. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 90 Duration 00:23 Dialog DAVE

    Hehe... Ok, ok.... Exit Interview Page 90/191
  61. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 91 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    We're still working out some kinks. Exit Interview Page 91/191
  62. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 92 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Subject not responding well... Exit Interview Page 92/191
  63. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 93 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    (Whispering) Care, initiate False Bribery Mode. Exit Interview Page 93/191
  64. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 94 Duration 00:22 Dialog CARE

    (Loudly) INITIATING FALSE BRIBERY DOT E-X-E Exit Interview Page 94/191
  65. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 95 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Sir, if you reconsider, we will give you Exit Interview Page 95/191
  66. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 96 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    a lump some of $500 Exit Interview Page 96/191
  67. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 97 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    and I personally will endorse your skills on LinkedIn- Exit Interview Page 97/191
  68. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 98 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    What is your obsession with LinkedIn!?? Exit Interview Page 98/191
  69. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 99 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Ok ok, that's definitely some kind of bug. Exit Interview Page 99/191
  70. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 100 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Dial - back - LinkedIn - sponsorship... Exit Interview Page 100/191
  71. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 101 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    (Glitching) That's r-right! I'll personally endorse your sk-skill. You skill. Your sk-sk-skill. Your sk your skill. Exit Interview Page 101/191
  72. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 102 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    (Glitching) That's r-right! I'll personally endorse your sk-skill. You skill. Your sk-sk-skill. Your sk your skill. Exit Interview Page 102/191
  73. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 103 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Uhh... C-can you just hold tight for a Exit Interview Page 103/191
  74. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 106 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    No y-ya know what?! No. I have HAD it with this "field test" and all your false compassion. No one actually cares about me here! I am quitting! Exit Interview Page 106/191
  75. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 107 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Hold on! If you can just wait another minute-- Exit Interview Page 107/191
  76. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 108 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    Oh, what will YOU add me on LinkedIn too?! Exit Interview Page 108/191
  77. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 109 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Hold on! If you can just wait another minute-- Exit Interview Page 109/191
  78. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 111 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Subject refuses reasoning. Aggressive retention mode activated. Exit Interview Page 111/191
  79. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 112 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Subject refuses reasoning. Aggressive retention mode activated. Exit Interview Page 112/191
  80. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 115 Duration 01:00 Dialog TOPHER

    "Aggressive?!" Exit Interview Page 115/191
  81. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 120 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Physical intervention authorized. Exit Interview Page 120/191
  82. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 121 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Physical intervention authorized. Exit Interview Page 121/191
  83. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 122 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Physical intervention authorized. Exit Interview Page 122/191
  84. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 123 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Physical intervention authorized. Exit Interview Page 123/191
  85. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 124 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Physical intervention authorized. Exit Interview Page 124/191
  86. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 125 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Physical intervention authorized. Exit Interview Page 125/191
  87. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 132 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    CARE no!!! We can't do it like this! Deactivate! Exit Interview Page 132/191
  88. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 133 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    CARE no!!! We can't do it like this! Deactivate! Exit Interview Page 133/191
  89. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 134 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    CARE no!!! We can't do it like this! Deactivate! Exit Interview Page 134/191
  90. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 135 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    CARE no!!! We can't do it like this! Deactivate! Exit Interview Page 135/191
  91. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 136 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Overruled. Removing obstacles. Exit Interview Page 136/191
  92. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 137 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Overruled. Removing obstacles. Exit Interview Page 137/191
  93. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 138 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Overruled. Removing obstacles. Exit Interview Page 138/191
  94. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 139 Duration 01:00 Dialog CARE

    Overruled. Removing obstacles. Exit Interview Page 139/191
  95. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 154 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    AAAAAAHHHHH! Exit Interview Page 154/191
  96. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 155 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    AAAAAAHHHHH! Exit Interview Page 155/191
  97. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 156 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    AAAAAAHHHHH! Exit Interview Page 156/191
  98. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 157 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    AAAAAAHHHHH! Exit Interview Page 157/191
  99. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 170 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Deactivate! DEACTIVATE!! DEACTIVATE!!! Exit Interview Page 170/191
  100. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 176 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Deactivate! DEACTIVATE!! DEACTIVATE!!! Exit Interview Page 176/191
  101. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 185 Duration 01:02 Dialog TOPHER

    Looks like this cog, just made a new friend. Exit Interview Page 185/191
  102. Scene 1 Duration 03:10:18 Panel 186 Duration 01:00 Dialog DAVE

    Topher you did it! You removed CARE's battery! Exit Interview Page 186/191