Kelly and the Kung Fu Gators

An original spec script:

"We're the Kung Fu Gator Hooligans! We're here to fight crime, hang out, and say no to drugs!" That's the catchphrase for our crime fighting, teen alligator brothers. Together with their sidekick, Kelly, there's nothing that will stand in their way!

But what if their opponent isn't a villain, but Kelly's own need for independence? For some reason, being the only girl in a group of teen alligator boys can be isolating. What she really wants is a group of friends of her own: a group of other teenage girls. But will Bullseye, the leader of the Kung fu Gators, be understanding? Or will he stand in her way?

Transcript

1. KELLY AND THE KUNG FU GATORS Written by Kristen Gish kristengish@gmail.com 785-393-3623
2. 1. COLD OPEN INT. TEEN BEDROOM - DAY An alarm goes off, flashing the word “CRIME!” KELLY, an energetic teenage girl wearing headphones, dances in front of the alarm. She is oblivious to it. She paints her nails as she continues to dance to the music. She poses in the mirror, admiring her nails. In the reflection, she sees the alarm. Panicking, she grabs her backpack and rushes out of the bedroom. INT. STORE - DAY A GUY at a checkout counter is minding his own business when three CRIMINALS IN SKI MASKS kick down the door. They point their guns directly at the checkout guy. CRIMINAL Gimme the loot! Terrified, the checkout guy reaches underneath the counter and hands the criminal an old-fashioned lute. WIDEN TO REVEAL a music store. Armed henchmen walk through the store and steal instruments, handing them off to their leader, JOHAN SEBASTIAN BADGUY. He’s decked out in an 18th century costume, complete with a powdered wig. And yeah, he knows how to play the hurdy-gurdy. JOHANN SEBASTIAN BADGUY Finally, all the obsolete instruments in the city belong to me, Johann Sebastian Badguy! BULLSEYE (O.S) Not so fast, Badguy! Four anthropomorphic alligators jump into the air. The KUNG FU GATOR HOOLIGAN’S logo pops onto the screen as we freeze frame on our Gators: There’s BULLSEYE, confident and wholesome in his blue baseball hat; RIPTIDE, laid back and wearing a jean jacket and sunglasses; NUNCHUCKS, glaring menacingly and wielding nunchucks; and TANK, a burly himbo. They are the coolest alligator teens you’ve ever seen! The freeze frame ends and they land directly in front of Johann Sebastian Badguy. 1.
3. 2. BULLSEYE (CONT’D) Your days of terrorizing musicians are over! JOHANN SEBASTIAN BADASS Who are you!?! BULLSEYE We’re the Kung Fu Gator Hooligans! NUNCHUCKS We’re here to fight crime - RIPTIDE - Hang out - TANK - And say no to drugs! Riptide gets out an enormous boom box and hits play. A beat is dropped. Our villains look around in horror as our Gators get in formation. They dance to the beat. BULLSEYE My name’s Bullseye, the leader of the group! / I can save lives while giving high fives! RIPTIDE And my name’s Riptide, I love to surf! / I fight to the max so I can chill to the max! NUNCHUCKS My name’s Nunchucks, and I love violence! / If I didn’t fight crime that would be a problem! TANK My name’s Tank, and I love to wrestle! / I don’t know what to rhyme with wrestle. BULLSEYE We’re the Kung Fu Gators and we’re here to save the city. / We’re gonna need some help from our sidekick Kelly! The Camera pans over to… no one. The beat continues as the Gators look at each other uncomfortably. Tank self consciously stops the music. 2.
4. 3. KELLY (O.S) Sorry, sorry, sorry! I’m here! KELLY, now on skates, zooms into frame. She takes off her helmet: her pink hair is disheveled. She’s out of breath. NUNCHUCKS (To Bullseye) This is the third time this month she’s been late. BULLSEYE Everything alright, there? KELLY Yeah, yeah! I - I lost track of time, but I’m ready! Play the thing! Bullseye nods to Tank. Tank presses play on the boombox. Kelly gets into formation, but she’s still out of breath. KELLY (CONT’D) (breathlessly) My name’s Kelly/ I -huff- sidekick/ -huff- gators/ -huff- you - you get the idea. Because she’s so out of breath, her rap is completely mumbled. Nunchucks glares at Bullseye, who grimaces. He quickly returns to formation. BULLSEYE It’s time to kick some butt! The Kung Fu Gators begin beating up the other criminals using rare, expensive instruments. Riptide shoves a henchmen into a drum set! Nunchucks grabs a trombone and uses it to strangle a henchman! NUNCHUCKS Aaah!!! Who’s a disappointment now, dad?!? Meanwhile, Bullseye fights Johann Sebastian Badguy, who’s fighting skills are almost as good as his lute playing! After some struggle, Bullseye gets the upper hand. The fighting is frantic and thrilling! CUT TO: Kelly, sitting on a piano, watching it all unfold. She’s distant, uninterested. A henchman runs up to her and prepares to attack, but she absent-mindedly pepper sprays him, still lost in thought. 3.
5. 4. She glances behind her, spotting two teenage girls outside the store window. They’re laughing together and eating ice cream. One takes out her phone and snaps a selfie of the two of them. Her nails are painted the same color as Kelly’s. Kelly is mesmerized. They talk excitedly as they walk out of frame. Kelly stares wistfully as they leave. BULLSEYE Kelly, watch out! Johann Sebastian Badguy is thrown into the wall, narrowly missing Kelly. Bullseye picks him up and shoves him in between the strings of a harp, holding him in place. He punches him like a hanging punching bag while talking to Kelly. BULLSEYE (CONT’D) I guess today just isn’t your day! KELLY I know. I’m sorry I’m late. I was busy with something. BULLSEYE Oh! Was it crime related? KELLY Uh... FLASHBACK: Kelly in her room, listening to music and dancing. She tries on a cool leather jacket, posing in the mirror. KELLY (CONT’D) ... Sort of? BULLSEYE Hey, I’m all for taking on some extra crime fighting, but the Gators and I are worried about you. You seem distracted. Is there something on your mind? Kelly ponders this. Clearly, there is something on her mind. Perhaps this is the best time to share it. KELLY Well... There is something I’ve been meaning to say. And - She looks up and realizes that Bullseye and Johann Sebastian Badguy have resumed fighting. BULLSEYE Sorry Kelly, I’ll catch you later! 4.
6. 5. Kelly slumps and walks away, annoyed. Johann and Bullseye continue to fight, when Bullseye punches Johann and sends him flying across the room. He CRASHES into a piano! He opens his mouth, revealing piano teeth. He is defeated! The Gators cheer and celebrate. BULLSEYE (CONT’D) Great work, team! The day is saved thanks to us! Behind Bullseye, part of the wall collapses. BULLSEYE (CONT’D) Anyway, Kelly! What was it you were going to say? KELLY Right, uh... The Gators eagerly listen, waiting for her to answer. They’re so earnest. Kelly loses her courage. She opens her mouth, about to say something, when we cut to: 5.
7. 6. ACT 1 INT. KUNG FU GATOR HOOLIGAN LAIR - EVENING CLOSE UP on a box of donuts. The Gators all grab one. RIPTIDE Thanks for the donuts, Kelly! We owe you one! Kelly grabs one, dejected. Bullseye comes up to her and pats her on the shoulder. BULLSEYE And remember, you never have to be shy about food suggestions! She smiles and nods, but the minute he walks away her mood drops. We cut wide to see that Bullseye, Kelly and Tank are sitting in front of the TV, watching Riptide and Nunchucks play video games. The Gator Lair is cold and dark, lit only by string lights, paper floor lamps and the glow of the TV. GATORS Alright! Go go go! Cut to TV. They’re just customizing a character. RIPTIDE Customizing a character is the best part of video games! As Riptide and Nunchucks continue to play, Kelly checks her Gatorwatch. KELLY Oh my gosh, you guys! Teens with Secrets is about to start! Everyone groans except Kelly and Bullseye. Bullseye folds his arms indignantly. BULLSEYE Hey! The TV belongs to Kelly just as much as the rest of us! TANK You’re right. If Kelly wants to - Bullseye clamps Tank’s giant alligator mouth shut. 6.
8. 7. BULLSEYE Shhh! It’s starting!!! ON THE TV we see a beautiful blonde actress staring wistfully out a window. SANDRA My name is Sandra von Riversmith. I was just a normal teenage girl, until I killed the mayor. Now I have secrets, and the only people I can tell are my friends. But the biggest secret of all - BULLSEYE AND KELLY (Mouthing along to the TV) “Is that these are the best friends a teen could ask for!” Back to the TV, the beautiful cast of Teens with Secrets pose, looking sultry and mysterious. They look like they belong together. Kelly glances at the gators. They also look like they belong together. Kelly stares at her reflection in the TV, wondering where this leaves her. Suddenly, the alarm starts blaring and the TV is interrupted by flashing letters that say CRIME!!! RIPTIDE Aw darn, I guess we have to fight crime! KELLY (checks computer) It looks like bank robbers set fire to a bank on Mass Street and 3rd! Civilians are trapped inside! TANK Mass street and 3rd? That’s all the way across town! We’ll have to take the Gatormobile! The gators cheer. Everyone knows the Gatormobile is dope. KELLY You don’t really need me for this one, right? RIPTIDE Of course we do! It wouldn’t be a Kung Fu Gator fight without Kelly! 7.
9. (MORE) 8. BULLSEYE Besides, we can’t leave you here alone without any way to defend yourself. It wouldn’t be safe. And you know the rules! Bullseye pulls out a giant axe. BULLSEYE (CONT’D) Safety first! The gang grabs their weapons and prepare to leave. Kelly curls her knees to her chest. As we close in on her face, her sadness turns to anger, and then to determination. She stands up dramatically. KELLY I want to quit being the Kung Fu Gator’s sidekick! Everyone stares in disbelief. The silence is deafening. TANK Uh... You can do that? KELLY I’ve given it some thought, and it’s time for me to be a strong, independent woman and move on! She pauses, proud of herself at first, but shrinks a little. KELLY (CONT’D) ...please? The gators look at each other, still dumbfounded. BULLSEYE You can’t just quit, Kelly! We need you! RIPTIDE Yeah! Who’s gonna use the Gator tech to locate crime for us? KELLY Riptide, I just use google maps! BULLSEYE Did we do something to upset you? KELLY No, it has nothing to do with you! Not really. (MORE) 8.
10. KELLY (CONT’D) 9. When my evil scientist dad decided to create teenage mutant alligator henchmen, I had no idea those gators would become my best friends! You guys are like brothers to me! Everyone seems touched by this statement except Bullseye. KELLY (CONT’D) But the Kung Fu Gator Hooligans is your thing, not mine. I can’t be your sidekick forever. I need to be around people who understand me. I need... She pauses. ‘Teens with Secrets’ is still on TV. She stares at it, getting a lightbulb moment. KELLY (CONT’D) I need that! RIPTIDE You need to kill the mayor! KELLY No! I need to be friends with girls! RIPTIDE (disappointed) Oh. BULLSEYE Friends with girls? Why is that important? I don’t even think of you as a girl! To me, you’re just a dude with beautiful pink hair, an adorable smile and blue eyes that are... warm and kind, but with a hint of mystery behind them. An uncomfortable silence follows. Someone COUGHS. BULLSEYE (CONT’D) You know, like one of the guys! KELLY But I don’t want to be one of the guys! Being friends with girls is different. KELLY (CONT’D) 9.
11. 10. Kelly, still wearing her skates, glides over to the gators. She has a whimsical smile on her face, as if she’s been dreaming about this for a long time. KELLY (CONT’D) There’s this magical thing they do called a makeover! They pamper you with makeup and hairspray and you get to be a totally different person for the night! Kelly takes Bullseye’s axe and poses with him in the reflection. She wears his hat and puts a ribbon in his hair. Bullseye, not amused, takes back his hat and axe. KELLY (CONT’D) Oh! And there’s this thing called a sleepover, where you spend the night at someone’s house and watch a movie, but you don’t actually watch the movie and you stay up all night braiding hair and talking! Kelly glides over to Nunchucks and grabs his hands, jumping around excitedly with him. NUNCHUCKS And then you fight crime? Kelly’s smile fades. KELLY No. You just talk. NUNCHUCKS About what? KELLY I don’t know. You talk about your feelings! NUNCHUCKS We talk about our feelings! I feel like fighting crime right now. Boom! Feelings! BULLSEYE I dunno, Kelly. It sounds like you have everything you need right here! The Gators high five each other. 10.
12. 11. RIPTIDE We did it! Kelly’s staying! Riptide offers Kelly a high five, which she swats away. KELLY NO! They stare at her in shock. KELLY (CONT’D) I’m resigning as the Kung Fu Gators sidekick! I’m going to find real girls to be friends with, and I’m gonna figure out how to use mascara, and you can’t stop me! Kelly storms off as the Gators stare in disbelief. Tank picks up the laptop she was using earlier. TANK Does anyone know how to use google maps? 11.
13. 12. ACT 2 INT. KUNG FU GATOR HOOLIGAN LAIR - DAY Bullseye waits outside Kelly’s bedroom. He looks nervous, then KNOCKS. BULLSEYE Hey Kelly? Can we talk? KELLY Sure. Come on in! Bullseye walks into the room. BULLSEYE Look, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I shouldn’t have - Bullseye looks around the room in shock. Teen posters are on the wall, along with various post it notes. Kelly is hunched over her desk, studying teen magazines. BULLSEYE (CONT’D) What’s going on? KELLY (eyes wide and bloodshot) Oh, hey Bullseye! I’m working on a plan to meet real teenage girls! BULLSEYE Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. KELLY I rewatched every episode of ‘Teens with Secrets’ and made a list of things to do! Kelly hands Bullseye her list. It’s roughly scribbled in a ‘Teens with Secrets’ brand notebook. BULLSEYE (reading from list) “Makeover... take care for joy ride... listen to boy play guitar?” KELLY Even if he’s not good. 12.
14. 13. BULLSEYE (still reading) Why is “kill the mayor” on here?! KELLY Ok, I might skip that one, because we don’t know if Sandra did it yet. Anyway, I’m headed to the mall to ask if there are any parties going on. You should come! You haven’t really experienced being a teen either! Kelly throws a cool jean jacket at him. She puts on a baseball hat and begins layering on lipstick. It’s WAY too much. She looks at herself in the mirror and stares in shock. KELLY (CONT’D) Whoah... I look amazing. Bullseye’s face softens. BULLSEYE Look, Kelly, are you sure you need to do all this stuff? Maybe all you need is someone to tell you that you’re special. Someone who knows the real you. Someone who was right in front of you the whole time. Bullseye stares wistfully at Kelly, and she stares back. There’s an energy between them, perhaps romantic? KELLY Nah. Let’s find that party! INT. MALL - DAY Bullseye and Kelly stand alone in a sad, empty mall. Half the stores are closed. BULLSEYE Are you sure this is where teens hang out? KELLY Of course! Why would ‘Teens with Secrets’ lie to me? A tumbleweed blows across the floor. 13.
15. 14. BULLSEYE I dunno, Kelly. Maybe in a post pandemic economy, the American mall is an obsolete - KELLY Wait! Kelly takes off her baseball hat and puts it on backwards. She grabs some sunglasses off a stand and puts them on Bullseye. Suddenly, a swarm of TEENAGERS emerge from the stores and flock to them. COOL TEEN Hey guys! You look pretty cool. Wanna come to a party tonight? My parents are out of town! Bullseye and Kelly fist bump. Mission accomplished. INT. HOUSE PARTY - EVENING Kelly and Bullseye stare in shock at the spacious living room full of PARTYING TEENS. The room was probably once tastefully decorated, but empty cans, bowls of junk food and rowdy teens hide any hint of its former glory. BOYS CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG! A BOY drinks an entire can of root beer in one go, then crushes the can against his head. The other boys cheer. BOY 1 Root beer is the best! BOY 2 It’s caffeine free! They do chest bumps. Bullseye and Kelly stare, wide eyed. KELLY Ok. Uh... Kelly reaches for her notebook and flips through it to find her list. KELLY (CONT’D) Let’s see... ok, I already sang into a hair brush while dancing on my bed. What can I do at a party? Oh! Dance off! We can do that here, right? 14.
16. 15. BULLSEYE I thought you just wanted to make some friends that are girls? KELLY Yeah, that’s what the list is for! I mean, it’s not like I can just go up to a group of girls and introduce myself! She pauses, devastated. KELLY (CONT’D) I’m going to have to walk up to a group of girls and introduce myself, aren’t I? I’ll be right back. BULLSEYE No, Kelly, don’t leave me! Kelly slinks away, leaving Bullseye completely alone. A CHILL TEEN walks up to him, holding something strange. CHILL TEEN Hey. I found this inhaler on the floor. Is it yours? The chill teen holds out an inhaler, which looks mysteriously like drugs to Bullseye. “We’re here to fight crime, hang out, and say no to drugs!” Rings in his head. Bullseye, panicky, begins to sweat and breathe heavily. BULLSEYE (to himself) Oh no. I’ve never actually had to say no to drugs before. CHILL TEEN ... What? INT. HOUSE PARTY HALLWAY - SAME TIME Kelly rushes to the bathroom, only to find a line outside the door. She groans and gets in line, accidentally bumping into one of the girls. KELLY Sorry! TAMMY, tall, gorgeous and effortlessly cool, looks closely at Kelly. 15.
17. 16. TAMMY Hang on, do I know you? Kelly looks terrified that she’s been noticed. Three other girls turn to look at her. Images of cheerleaders beating her up fill Kelly’s head. TAMMY (CONT’D) Is that a ‘Teens with Secrets’ notebook? KELLY Y-y-yes??? The girls don’t answer for a minute. They continue to stare down at Kelly. TAMMY Well? Do you think Sandra killed the Mayor or not?!? Kelly is so happy that there are tears in her eyes. INT. KUNG FU GATOR HOOLIGAN LAIR - SAME NIGHT Riptide and Tank sit on the couch, both customizing a video game character. Nunchucks bursts in, holding a flyer. NUNCHUCKS Bullseye and Kelly are missing! I found this on Bullseye’s laptop. Nunchucks steps in front of the tv and shoves the laptop in Tank’s face. On the laptop is a party invitation. TANK “Party till you drop”? NUNCHUCKS It’s a threat! They’re clearly being held hostage! Don’t worry, Bullseye and Kelly. We’re going to rescue you! INT. PARTY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Kelly is giggling with her new girl friends. Tammy is doing her makeup while two girls are French braiding Kelly’s hair. The fourth girl, TAMERA is doing her own makeup. 16.
18. 17. KELLY It’s just hard because... sometimes I don’t feel like I fully fit in. TAMMY I can see how living with four alligator roommates can make you feel that way. KELLY And the guys mean well, but when I told them I wanted other friends, they took it so personally! Instead of listening to me, they thought it was their job to fix it! TAMERA That’s so annoying! KELLY I don’t know, maybe I should still be their sidekick. Maybe I’m complaining about nothing. TAMMY Kelly, your feelings are valid! KELLY But what if they keep ignoring what I want? TAMMY If they don’t respect your decisions, maybe they’re not great friends to begin with. Tamera switches from doing makeup to applying deodorant. TAMERA Don’t be afraid to set boundaries! Kelly smiles. It feels good to be listened to. INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Bullseye attempts to smoke the inhaler that was handed to him. Chill Teen stares, dumbfounded. He holds out his hand. Embarrassed, Bullseye gives back the inhaler. Chill Teen exits and Bullseye hangs his head in shame. KELLY Hey, Bullseye! 17.
19. 18. Bullseye looks up and sees Kelly with four very stylish friends. KELLY (CONT’D) Bullseye! These are my new friends, Tammy, Tami, Tamera and Tamnado. TAMNADO Oh, so this is Bullseye. The four girls stare him down. It’s deeply unsettling. BULLSEYE Hi. Gee, it’s sure been fun hanging out with you guys, but Kelly and I are pretty tired. We should start heading home. KELLY I’m not tired! BULLSEYE You’re not? KELLY But if you want to head home, it’s fine! Tamnado offered to give me a ride later. Tamnado continues staring daggers at Bullseye. A chill runs down his spine. BULLSEYE Are you sure you want to stay? KELLY Of course I do! Look: I checked off the most important thing on my list! She hands Bullseye the list. “Make new friends” is underlined, and has a big fat check mark next to it. Bullseye smiles. Maybe it’s fine for them to part ways for tonight. But before he can respond, three mysterious figures burst through the wall! Everyone screams, dust and debris fly everywhere. KELLY (CONT’D) Oh no. The debris settles. It’s Nunchucks, Riptide and Tank! They pose. 18.
20. 19. GATORS We’re the Kung Fu Gator Hooligans! RIPTIDE We’re here to rescue our friends - NUNCHUCKS - to save teens from a life of crime - TANK - and to eat free food! Everyone at the party stares in shock. Kelly is mortified. 19.
21. 20. ACT 3 INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Nunchucks, Riptide and Tank roam the house, terrorizing the teens, as Kelly and Bullseye stare in horror. RIPTIDE Say no to gang activity! Riptide hits some teens over the head with the back of his hand, knocking the hats off their heads. NUNCHUCKS Say no to gambling! Nunchucks knocks over an innocent game of Connect 4. TANK And stay in school! Tank picks up a kid and throws him into a bookshelf. TAMMY What are you doing?! Who even invited you guys?! NUNCHUCKS Nobody “invited” us! We’re here to rescue our friends, Bullseye and Kelly! RIPTIDE But especially Kelly! The best sidekick a gator could ever ask for! ANGLE ON: Kelly, who is now trying to hide by wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. The Gators applaud. No one else joins in. TANK We couldn’t have rescued you without you, Kelly! RIPTIDE Now come on! Let’s get out of here! KELLY No! 20.
22. 21. The gators stare at her in shock. Bullseye is so nervous he’s sweating. NUNCHUCKS What do you mean, no? KELLY You guys barge in here, you harass everyone, you destroy Tami’s house - TAMI (full of disdain) My step dad’s house. KELLY And you’re embarrassing me in front of my friends! RIPTIDE What are you talking about?! We’re your friends! KELLY Not anymore! The partygoers GASP. Riptide clutches his heart. TANK What are you saying? KELLY I thought all I needed was to quit being your sidekick and to get some space from you guys. But maybe I was wrong! Maybe I’m better off without you completely! Kelly runs out the backdoor, tears welling in her eyes. Bullseye chases after her. Everyone else is in shock. TAMNADO Yeah! Go Kelly! EXT. BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS Kelly sits on a swing set, lost in her own thoughts. Bullseye runs after her. BULLSEYE Kelly, I don’t know what to say! I swear I didn’t tell them where we were going! 21.
23. 22. KELLY It doesn’t matter! It’s all ruined anyway. BULLSEYE What is? KELLY The whole thing! My plan to make new friends! There’s no way I can talk to any of those people ever again! Bullseye sits on the swing next to Kelly. BULLSEYE That’s not true! KELLY Would you still be my friend if some rando’s destroyed your home? I’m not sure I would. Kelly hangs her head, her hair falling in front of her face. Bullseye pats her on the shoulder awkwardly. KELLY (CONT’D) At least I finished most of my list! The only thing left is to kill the mayor and make out with a boy. BULLSEYE Ha! Yeah! Kissing is pretty wild! Bullseye cringes at what he just said, but Kelly chuckles. KELLY Yeah, what a dumb idea. BULLSEYE So dumb! Kelly and Bullseye smile at each other. Their gaze lingers. Their smiles fade, and there’s a spark between them. Bullseye leans in, and Kelly does the same. There’s no turning back now. They try to kiss, but they can’t figure out how to make their mouths fit. This goes on for an excruciating amount of time, each attempt worse than the next. In the end, Kelly puts her whole head in his jaws, and he licks the side of her face. 22.
24. 23. When it ends, half of Kelly’s hair is drenched in saliva. They avoid eye contact, their eyes wide. BULLSEYE (CONT’D) We must never speak of this again. Kelly nods in agreement while slowly tearing up her list. Nunchucks, Riptide and Tank run outside to join Kelly and Bullseye. NUNCHUCKS Hey, Kelly! TANK We wanted to apologize. RIPTIDE Yeah! Nunchucks and Tank look expectantly at Riptide. TANK Riptide, I thought you figured out the apology. RIPTIDE I thought Nunchucks did? NUNCHUCKS We’re sorry we rescued you. The three gators nod to each other and high five. They figured out the apology! Kelly is not amused. KELLY Can you guys please leave me alone? TANK Look, I know you want more girl friends. That’s fine! You don’t have to quit your job just to make friends that are girls! We meet girls all the time! RIPTIDE Yeah, you won’t believe how many diamond burglars are in this city! Oh, and Russian spies! They’re girls like, 70 percent of the time. TANK Talk about girl power! 23.
25. (MORE) 24. KELLY (groans) You just don’t get it! RIPTIDE This isn’t like you, Kelly! Those dumb kids are getting into your head! The Kelly we know doesn’t wear lipstick or go to parties, the Kelly we know likes video games and donuts and being the Kung Fu Gator’s sidekick! TANK Yeah! The Kelly we know is true to herself! KELLY It’s not your job to decide how I should be true to myself! That totally defeats the purpose of being true to myself! Before any of the gators can answer, a VILLAINOUS MAN IN A CHEF’S UNIFORM jumps out of the bushes. He wields kitchen utensils as weapons and wears an obnoxiously big chef’s hat. CHEF DE PAR-DIE It is I, Chef de Par-DIE! I hope you Kung Fu Gator Hooligans worked up an appetite, because - KELLY (shouting) Excuse me! We’re in the middle of something! BULLSEYE Dude, read the room! Che de Par-Die looks at the five of them and picks up on the uncomfortable vibe. Unsure of what to do, he sinks back into the bushes. NUNCHUCKS Does this mean our friendship is over? Kelly sighs. She’s unsure how to answer. KELLY I like hanging out with you guys, I really do! But you have no idea how isolating it can be. (MORE) 24.
26. KELLY (CONT’D) 25. I’m not really in the Kung Fu Gator Hooligans, but I’m not really my own person either. RIPTIDE We’re sorry we can’t let you be an official member. It’s not because you’re not our friend! TANK It’s just... it’s kind of our way of dealing with being human- alligator hybrids. NUNCHUCKS It’s a way to help us feel like we belong somewhere! Kelly can’t help but to be hurt by this statement. It’s not that she’s unaware of the dynamic, but it’s still hard to hear out loud. KELLY Did it occur to you that maybe that’s all I want too? Kelly walks towards the house, leaving the gators to contemplate their behavior. INT. HOUSE PARTY - LATER Everyone has gone home except for Tami, Tammy, Tamera and Tamnado. They’re cleaning up the mess that was left behind. Kelly enters, and the four of them stop cleaning. She looks like she’s trying to find the words, when suddenly... Nunchucks, Riptide, Tank and Bullseye enter. It’s time, they use the door. BULLSEYE We’re the Kung Fu Gator Hooligans! NUNCHUCKS We’re here to respect your boundaries! RIPTIDE To be your friend when you need us! TANK And to pay for the damage done to this house! KELLY (CONT’D) 25.
27. 26. The Tammy’s give them a suspicious glare, but Kelly is overwhelmed with emotion. Is this the apology she’s been waiting for? BULLSEYE We understand you don’t want to be the Kung Fu Gator Hooligan’s sidekick anymore. So, we have a severance package for you. Riptide reaches into his pockets and hands Kelly a crumpled fistful of cash and coupons. RIPTIDE Yeah, it’s some money we owe you for the donuts, some coupons for free breadsticks, and a Kung Fu Gator Hooligans t-shirt! TANK (addressing the Tammy’s) In fact, if you guys want a t- shirt, please take one! We thought they’d sell way better. Tank hands a t-shirt to Kelly. She’s happy, not because of the coupons or the t-shirt, but for what it symbolizes. Her friends are finally seeing her perspective. BULLSEYE You can still live with us if you want. Rent free! NUNCHUCKS (deadpan) Because we’re squatters and have no legal say over who lives in the sewers with us. TANK (nudges Nunchucks) But mainly because we like you! BULLSEYE The severance package also comes with an apology. RIPTIDE We’re sorry. We were jerks and we weren’t listening to you. Our friendship shouldn’t be based on you being our sidekick. Riptide offers Kelly a high five. She smiles. 26.
28. 27. KELLY Nailed it! She high fives Riptide. KELLY (CONT’D) So, you’re really cool with me quitting? RIPTIDE I mean, we’ll miss you a lot! But now you’ll have more time to... Riptide sighs deeply. RIPTIDE (CONT’D) Hang out with people who aren’t us. BULLSEYE And this way, when we hang out, it’ll be as friends. TANK If you still want to be friends, that is. Kelly smiles and nods. An emotional group hug ensues. TANK (CONT’D) Now! Let’s start cleaning this house! TAMI Please just leave. TANK Cool! That works too! Kelly and the Gators make their way to the front door. TAMI Wait, Kelly! Kelly and the Gators stop. They turn to face the Tammy’s. TAMI (CONT’D) The four of us are gonna stay and hang out for a while. TAMMY Yeah, we might watch a movie. 27.
29. 28. TAMNADO We’ll probably braid hair and talk about our feelings. TAMI Want to join? Kelly’s eyes widen. It’s the mythical sleepover she’s heard so much about. KELLY Yeah, I’d love that! The Gators smile. Kelly waves goodbye as they walk out the door. EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - CONTINUOUS The gators walk down the sidewalk. The mood is bittersweet. BULLSEYE So... now what? Chef De Par-DIE jumps out of a bush, wielding his cooking utensils. CHEF DE PAR-DIE Sorry, is this still a bad time? BULLSEYE Uh... no. We’re ready when you are. CHEF DE PAR-DIE Then prepare to Chef de par-Die! The Gators grin at each other and get into their battle stances. They charge at Chef de par-DIE. FREEZE FRAME on Bullseye about to land a punch. 28.