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Designing Through Difficult Emotions - Big Desi...

Cassini Nazir
September 09, 2016

Designing Through Difficult Emotions - Big Design 2016

Cassini Nazir

September 09, 2016
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  1. @cassininazir CASSINI NAZIR DEALING WITH PEOPLE Y U CAN’T STAND

    the best in people How to bring out at their worst Thursday, September 8, 16 Big Design USA · September 2015 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  2. @cassininazir CASSINI NAZIR DEALING WITH PEOPLE Y U CAN’T STAND

    the best in people How to bring out at their worst Thursday, September 8, 16 Big Design USA · September 2015 Big Design USA · September 2016 @cassininazir CASSINI NAZIR September 2016 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  3. WE’LL COVER AWARENESS What is an emotion and how can

    we be more aware of them REDISCOVERY Rediscover design tools you already use and apply them to daily life RESOURCES A few resources to help you long after the conference CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  4. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage one’s

    emotions Daniel Goleman CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  5. Five abilities comprise emotional intelligence. Knowing our emotions 1 CASSINI

    NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  6. Five abilities comprise emotional intelligence. Knowing our emotions CEO Senior

    Exec Executive or VP Director Manager Supervisor Individual Contributor 1 Which group demonstrates the least amount of emotional intelligence? CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  7. CEO Senior Exec Executive 
 or VP Director Manager Supervisor

    Individual Contributor 80% 78 76 74 72 70 68 Knowing our emotions 1 Emotional Intelligence Scores and Job Title CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  8. Five abilities comprise emotional intelligence. Knowing our emotions Managing our

    emotions 2 1 Accepting and valuing ourselves Tolerating frustration Expressing emotions at the right time Controlling impulses Managing anger Practicing self-control CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  9. Five abilities comprise emotional intelligence. Knowing our emotions Recognizing emotions

    in others Managing our emotions 2 3 1 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  10. Embarrassment Fear Sadness Surprise greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Recognizing emotions in others 3

    CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  11. Embarrassment Fear Sadness Surprise greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Eyebrows pull up and in

    Eyelids raise slightly Lip corners pull sideways, tightening and elongating the mouth Recognizing emotions in others 3 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  12. Sadness Amusement Shame Embarrassment greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Recognizing emotions in others 3

    CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  13. Sadness Amusement Shame Embarrassment greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Head moves down and to

    the side Lips press together and corners turn up slightly Recognizing emotions in others 3 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  14. Compassion Sadness Anger Interest greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Recognizing emotions in others 3

    CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  15. Compassion Sadness Anger Interest greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Head tilts forward slightly Eyebrows

    pull up and in Lips press together Recognizing emotions in others 3 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  16. Shame Sadness Disgust Compassion greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Recognizing emotions in others 3

    CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  17. Shame Sadness Disgust Compassion greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Head tilts down Eyes look

    downward Recognizing emotions in others 3 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  18. Surprise Interest Desire Happiness greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Recognizing emotions in others 3

    CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  19. Surprise Interest Desire Happiness greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Head tilts forward slightly Eyebrows

    raised straight up Lips corners pulled up in slight smile Recognizing emotions in others 3 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  20. Five abilities comprise emotional intelligence. Knowing our emotions Managing relationships

    with others Recognizing emotions in others Managing our emotions 2 3 4 1 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  21. Five abilities comprise emotional intelligence. Knowing our emotions Motivating ourselves

    
 to achieve our goals Managing relationships with others Recognizing emotions in others Managing our emotions 1 2 3 4 5 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  22. Knowing our emotions Motivating ourselves 
 to achieve our goals

    Managing relationships with others Recognizing emotions in others Managing our emotions 1 2 3 4 5 Which abilities did Edison demonstrate? CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  23. Knowing our emotions 1 Five abilities comprise emotional intelligence. of

    people are able to accurately identify emotions as they happen 36 % different definitions of emotions in the last 100 years 90+ 0.006% of words in English language are words to describe emotions ~4,000 words for emotions 600,000 words CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  24. Robert Plutchik Emotion circumplex more intense less intense CASSINI NAZIR

    · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  25. rage vigilance ecstasy admiration terror amazement grief loathing disgust boredom

    anger annoyance interest anticipation joy serenity acceptance trust fear apprehension distraction surprise sadness pensiveness remorse disapproval awe submission love optimism aggressiveness contempt Robert Plutchik 3D Model Exploded 2D Model
  26. rage vigilance ecstasy terror grief loathing disgust boredom anger annoyance

    interest anticipation joy serenity acceptance trust fear apprehension distraction surprise sadness pensiveness remorse disapproval awe submission love optimism aggressiveness contempt
  27. rage vigilance ecstasy terror grief loathing disgust boredom anger annoyance

    interest anticipation joy serenity acceptance trust fear apprehension distraction surprise sadness pensiveness remorse disapproval awe submission love optimism aggressiveness contempt
  28. rage vigilance ecstasy terror grief loathing disgust boredom anger annoyance

    interest anticipation joy serenity acceptance trust fear apprehension distraction surprise sadness pensiveness remorse disapproval awe submission love optimism aggressiveness contempt
  29. rage vigilance ecstasy terror grief loathing disgust boredom anger annoyance

    interest anticipation joy serenity acceptance trust fear apprehension distraction surprise sadness pensiveness remorse disapproval awe submission love optimism aggressiveness contempt
  30. joy trust trust fear fear surprise surprise sadness sadness disgust

    disgust anger anger anticipation anticipation joy joy trust fear fear surprise sadness sadness disgust anger anger trust surprise disgust anticipation anticipation joy joy trust trust fear fear surprise surprise sadness sadness disgust disgust anger anger anticipation anticipation joy joy trust fear surprise sadness love submission alarm disappointment remorse contempt aggression optimism guilt curiosity despair ? envy cynism pride fatalism delight sentimentality shame outrage pessimism morbidness dominance anxiety conflict conflict conflict conflict disgust anger anticipation often felt sometimes felt seldom felt opposites primary dyads secondary dyads tertiary dyads
  31. optimism despair outrage conflict often felt sometimes felt seldom felt

    opposites primary dyads secondary dyads tertiary dyads
  32. optimism despair outrage conflict often felt sometimes felt seldom felt

    opposites primary dyads secondary dyads tertiary dyads anticipation joy fear sadness surprise anger trust disgust
  33. Antonio Damasio Emotion is not a luxury: it is ...

    indispensable for survival. It plays a critical role 
 in virtually all aspects of 
 learning, reasoning, and creativity. CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  34. make ugly things look better DESIGNERS CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING

    THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  35. make ugly things look better DESIGNERS shape emotions CASSINI NAZIR

    · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  36. Thanks. And in case you were wondering: We’re turning 32

    this year. That’s a lot of tax returns. How are you feeling about doing your taxes? Good Not so good Don't ask CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  37. Thanks. And in case you were wondering: We’re turning 32

    this year. That’s a lot of tax returns. How are you feeling about doing your taxes? We get it. The tax code is pretty crazy. But we’re used to rolling up our sleeves and making taxes less, well, taxing. Continue Good Don't ask Not so good CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  38. Thanks. And in case you were wondering: We’re turning 32

    this year. That’s a lot of tax returns. How are you feeling about doing your taxes? A lot of people feel the same way. The good news: Our customers rate us an average of 4.8 out of 5 stars. Continue Good Not so good Don't ask CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  39. Thanks. And in case you were wondering: We’re turning 32

    this year. That’s a lot of tax returns. How are you feeling about doing your taxes? A lot of people feel the same way. The good news: Our customers rate us an average of 4.8 out of 5 stars. Continue Good Not so good Don't ask CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  40. Thanks. And in case you were wondering: We’re turning 32

    this year. That’s a lot of tax returns. How are you feeling about doing your taxes? We get it. The tax code is pretty crazy. But we’re used to rolling up our sleeves and making taxes less, well, taxing. Continue Good Don't ask Not so good CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  41. 25% 50% 75% 100% not very difficult very difficult moderately

    difficult DIFFICULTY COMPLETION easy CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  42. 25% 50% 75% 100% not very difficult very difficult moderately

    difficult DIFFICULTY COMPLETION easy CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  43. 25% 50% 75% 100% not very difficult very difficult moderately

    difficult DIFFICULTY COMPLETION easy CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  44. Yes, user — tell me your deepest, darkest thoughts. CASSINI

    NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  45. EMPATHY MAP PERSONA AFFINITY DIAGRAM AEIOU A/B TESTING CONTEXTUAL INQUIRY

    ETHNOGRAPHY USER OBSERVATION MUSTACHES CONTEXT SCENARIOS USER JOURNEY MAP PARTICIPATORY DESIGN DESIGN WORKSHOPS SCENARIO SWIMLANES RITE METHOD DESIGN CHARETTE SKINNY JEANS DESIGN FOLK HAVE THE TOOLS CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  46. TO UNDERSTAND USERS DESIGN FOLK HAVE THE TOOLS CASSINI NAZIR

    · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  47. TO UNDERSTAND USERS DESIGN FOLK HAVE THE TOOLS AND OURSELVES

    ? CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  48. GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE mind Get more light in the

    room CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  49. WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event 4 3 2 1

    5 6 7 Form intent Sequence of Actions Execute Actions Evaluate outcome Interpret
 the state Perceive
 the state Get more light in the room CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  50. GULF of EVALUATION WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event Form

    intent Sequence of Actions Execute Actions Evaluate outcome Interpret
 the state Perceive
 the state 4 3 2 1 5 6 7 GULF of EXECUTION Get more light in the room CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  51. WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event GULF of EVALUATION 4

    3 2 1 5 6 7 GULF of EXECUTION CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  52. WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event FRUSTRATION IRRITATION DELIGHTED AMUSED

    PLEASURE CONTENTED THRILLED DESIRE CONFUSION DOUBT SATISFIED ANNOYED ENTERTAINED DISTRACTED ENGAGED BORED UNIMPRESSED UNSURE ENJOYMENT GULF of EVALUATION 4 3 2 1 5 6 7 GULF of EXECUTION
  53. WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event FRUSTRATION IRRITATION DELIGHTED AMUSED

    PLEASURE CONTENTED THRILLED DESIRE CONFUSION DOUBT SATISFIED ANNOYED ENTERTAINED DISTRACTED ENGAGED BORED UNIMPRESSED UNSURE ENJOYMENT GULF of EVALUATION 4 3 2 1 5 6 7 GULF of EXECUTION
  54. WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event FRUSTRATION IRRITATION DELIGHTED AMUSED

    PLEASURE CONTENTED THRILLED DESIRE CONFUSION DOUBT SATISFIED ANNOYED ENTERTAINED DISTRACTED ENGAGED BORED UNIMPRESSED UNSURE ENJOYMENT GULF of EVALUATION 4 3 2 1 5 6 7 GULF of EXECUTION
  55. WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event FRUSTRATION IRRITATION DELIGHTED AMUSED

    PLEASURE CONTENTED THRILLED DESIRE CONFUSION DOUBT SATISFIED ANNOYED ENTERTAINED DISTRACTED ENGAGED BORED UNIMPRESSED UNSURE ENJOYMENT GULF of EVALUATION 4 3 2 1 5 6 7 GULF of EXECUTION
  56. Put our work in front of others Compare ourselves to

    others Criticize ourselves Make ourselves vulnerable CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  57. WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event FRUSTRATION IRRITATION DELIGHTED AMUSED

    PLEASURE CONTENTED THRILLED DESIRE CONFUSION DOUBT SATISFIED ANNOYED ENTERTAINED DISTRACTED ENGAGED BORED UNIMPRESSED UNSURE ENJOYMENT GULF of EVALUATION 4 3 2 1 5 6 7 GULF of EXECUTION CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  58. WORLD 7 6 5 1 2 3 4 ACTIVATING EVENT

    Someone displays this face to you Perceive 
 the event
  59. WORLD 7 6 5 1 2 3 4 ACTIVATING EVENT

    Someone displays this face to you Perceive 
 the event Interpret
 the event
  60. WORLD 7 6 5 1 2 3 4 ACTIVATING EVENT

    Perceive 
 the event Interpret
 the event BELIEFS and SELF-TALK Evaluate options
  61. WORLD 7 6 5 1 2 3 4 ACTIVATING EVENT

    Perceive 
 the event Interpret
 the event BELIEFS and SELF-TALK Evaluate options CONSEQUENCES emotional and behavioral “He thinks I’m a loser” “What’s he so angry about?” “What did I do to him?” “What’s wrong with him?” “Do I even know this guy?” “I feel bad now”
  62. WORLD 7 6 5 1 2 3 4 ACTIVATING EVENT

    Perceive 
 the event Interpret
 the event BELIEFS and SELF-TALK Evaluate options CONSEQUENCES emotional and behavioral “He thinks I’m a loser” “What’s he so angry about?” “What did I do to him?” “What’s wrong with him?” “Do I even know this guy?” “I feel bad now” Form response Sequence of Actions Execute Response DISPUTE irrational thinking
  63. GULF of EVALUATION WORLD GOAL THE ACTION CYCLE event Form

    intent Sequence of Actions Execute Actions Evaluate outcome Interpret the state Perceive the state 4 3 2 5 6 7 GULF of EXECUTION 1 BELIEFS and SELF-TALK WORLD COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY Form response Sequence of Actions Execute Response Evaluate options Interpret the event Perceive the event 7 6 5 1 2 3 4 CONSEQUENCES emotional and behavioral DISPUTE irrational thinking ACTIVATING EVENT CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  64. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. “He thinks I’m a loser” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  65. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  66. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” “It would be terrible if I failed” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  67. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. NEGATIVE FILTERING You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” “It would be terrible if I failed” “Look at all the people who don’t like me” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  68. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. ALWAYS & NEVER You believe that an unpleasant situation that’s irritating you will always be that way and never change. NEGATIVE FILTERING You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” “It would be terrible if I failed” “Look at all the people who don’t like me” “I always make a fool of myself when presenting” 24 7 CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  69. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. ALWAYS & NEVER You believe that an unpleasant situation that’s irritating you will always be that way and never change. NEGATIVE FILTERING You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “He thinks I’m a loser” 24 7 “I don’t know what he think, but it’s okay if he thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” “It would be terrible if I failed” “Look at all the people who don’t like me” “I always make a fool of myself when presenting” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  70. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. ALWAYS & NEVER You believe that an unpleasant situation that’s irritating you will always be that way and never change. NEGATIVE FILTERING You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” 24 7 “I don’t know what he think, but it’s okay if he thinks I’m a loser” “I don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but I can do my best to prepare” “It would be terrible if I failed” “Look at all the people who don’t like me” “I always make a fool of myself when presenting” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  71. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. ALWAYS & NEVER You believe that an unpleasant situation that’s irritating you will always be that way and never change. NEGATIVE FILTERING You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” “It would be terrible if I failed” 24 7 “I don’t know what he think, but it’s okay if he thinks I’m a loser” “I don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but I can do my best to prepare” “I’d rather not fail, but if I do I can handle it. I’ll learn from my mistakes.” “Look at all the people who don’t like me” “I always make a fool of myself when presenting” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  72. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. ALWAYS & NEVER You believe that an unpleasant situation that’s irritating you will always be that way and never change. NEGATIVE FILTERING You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” “It would be terrible if I failed” “Look at all the people who don’t like me” 24 7 “I don’t know what he think, but it’s okay if he thinks I’m a loser” “I don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but I can do my best to prepare” “I’d rather not fail, but if I do I can handle it. I’ll learn from my mistakes.” “There are people enjoy my company” “I always make a fool of myself when presenting” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  73. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. ALWAYS & NEVER You believe that an unpleasant situation that’s irritating you will always be that way and never change. NEGATIVE FILTERING You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” “It would be terrible if I failed” “Look at all the people who don’t like me” “I always make a fool of myself when presenting” 24 7 “I don’t know what he think, but it’s okay if he thinks I’m a loser” “I don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but I can do my best to prepare” “I’d rather not fail, but if I do I can handle it. I’ll learn from my mistakes.” “There are people enjoy my company” “I can prepare more to have an outstanding presentation” CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016
  74. MIND READING You assume that you know what people think

    without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. FORTUNE-TELLING You predict the future negatively: things will get worse, or there is danger ahead. CATASTROPHIZING You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it. ALWAYS & NEVER You believe that an unpleasant situation that’s irritating you will always be that way and never change. NEGATIVE FILTERING You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “He thinks I’m a loser” “I won’t get that job” “It would be terrible if I failed” “Look at all the people who don’t like me” “I always make a fool of myself when presenting” 24 7 “I don’t know what he think, but it’s okay if he thinks I’m a loser” “I don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but I can do my best to prepare” “I’d rather not fail, but if I do I can handle it. I’ll learn from my mistakes.” “There are people enjoy my company” “I can prepare more to have an outstanding presentation”
  75. WORLD 7 6 5 1 2 3 4 ACTIVATING EVENT

    Perceive 
 the event Interpret
 the event BELIEFS and SELF-TALK Evaluate options CONSEQUENCES emotional and behavioral “He thinks I’m a loser” “What’s he so angry about?” “What did I do to him?” “What’s wrong with him?” “Do I even know this guy?” “I feel bad now” Form response Sequence of Actions Execute Response DISPUTE irrational thinking
  76. Designers imagine that which does not yet exist and bring

    it into reality. CASSINI NAZIR · DESIGNING THROUGH DIFFICULT EMOTiONS · BIG DESIGN 2016 DOWNLOAD THIS TALK speakerdeck.com/cassininazir