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Camping - Rough Pass 2

Candace
August 21, 2022

Camping - Rough Pass 2

Took notes from critique and mainly focused on addressing the clarity of the story note. Will focus better composition and clean drawing next pass. :)

Candace

August 21, 2022
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Transcript

  1. Scene 1 Duration 13:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Are we almost there? Camping Page 3/229
  2. Scene 1 Duration 13:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Are we almost there? Camping Page 4/229
  3. Scene 1 Duration 13:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Are we almost there? Camping Page 5/229
  4. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Gisselle, let's just stop here. Camping Page 15/229
  5. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Gisselle, let's just stop here. Camping Page 16/229
  6. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Just a bit further! Camping Page 17/229
  7. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Why?! This is a perfectly good place to camp! Camping Page 18/229
  8. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 6 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Come onnn Ron! Camping Page 19/229
  9. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 7 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    The extra walk will be worth it when you see this place! It's perfect! Camping Page 20/229
  10. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 8 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    The extra walk will be worth it when you see this place! It's perfect! Camping Page 21/229
  11. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 9 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Easy for you to say. This stuff is heavy you know. Camping Page 22/229
  12. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 10 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    You CHOSE to bring all that stuff. Camping Page 23/229
  13. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 11 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    You CHOSE to bring all that stuff. Camping Page 24/229
  14. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 12 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I don't anticipate needing three first aid kits. *chuckles Camping Page 25/229
  15. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 13 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I don't anticipate needing three first aid kits. *chuckles Camping Page 26/229
  16. Scene 2 Duration 14:00 Panel 14 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    So I'm prepared, sue me. Camping Page 27/229
  17. Scene 3 Duration 02:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Do you even know where this...watering hole--- Camping Page 28/229
  18. Scene 3 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Do you even know where this...watering hole--- Camping Page 29/229
  19. Scene 4 Duration 02:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Casselberry Creek. Camping Page 30/229
  20. Scene 4 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Casselberry Creek. Camping Page 31/229
  21. Scene 5 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    You don't even know where it is. Camping Page 33/229
  22. Scene 6 Duration 04:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I've totally got it all planned out and everything!! It'll be fun! Camping Page 36/229
  23. Scene 6 Duration 04:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I've totally got it all planned out and everything!! It'll be fun! Camping Page 37/229
  24. Scene 8 Duration 02:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Okay so like, 53% planned out... Camping Page 39/229
  25. Scene 8 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Okay so like, 53% planned out... Camping Page 40/229
  26. Scene 10 Duration 05:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I'm winging it! Camping Page 44/229
  27. Scene 10 Duration 05:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    But it's fine! TRUST ME! Camping Page 45/229
  28. Scene 10 Duration 05:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    But it's fine! TRUST ME! Camping Page 46/229
  29. Scene 11 Duration 07:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I got this! I know where to go, it's just a bit further ahead. We'll set up camp soon! Promise! Camping Page 49/229
  30. Scene 11 Duration 07:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I got this! I know where to go, it's just a bit further ahead. We'll set up camp soon! Promise! Camping Page 50/229
  31. Scene 11 Duration 07:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I got this! I know where to go, it's just a bit further ahead. We'll set up camp soon! Promise! Camping Page 51/229
  32. Scene 11 Duration 07:00 Panel 6 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I got this! I know where to go, it's just a bit further ahead. We'll set up camp soon! Promise! Camping Page 52/229
  33. Scene 11 Duration 07:00 Panel 7 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I got this! I know where to go, it's just a bit further ahead. We'll set up camp soon! Promise! Camping Page 53/229
  34. Scene 13 Duration 05:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Camping Page 63/229
  35. Scene 14 Duration 02:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    What? It was a dead end. Camping Page 64/229
  36. Scene 14 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    What? It was a dead end. Camping Page 65/229
  37. Scene 15 Duration 04:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    SO WE GO BACK AND AROUND, NOT UP! Camping Page 66/229
  38. Scene 15 Duration 04:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    SO WE GO BACK AND AROUND, NOT UP! Camping Page 67/229
  39. Scene 15 Duration 04:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    SO WE GO BACK AND AROUND, NOT UP! Camping Page 68/229
  40. Scene 15 Duration 04:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    SO WE GO BACK AND AROUND, NOT UP! Camping Page 69/229
  41. Scene 16 Duration 07:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Well, it's a great view from up here. Camping Page 70/229
  42. Scene 16 Duration 07:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    That's a terrible idea! Ugh if I had known where we were going, I could have picked a safer route! Camping Page 71/229
  43. Scene 16 Duration 07:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    That's a terrible idea! Ugh if I had known where we were going, I could have picked a safer route! Camping Page 72/229
  44. Scene 16 Duration 07:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    That's a terrible idea! Ugh if I had known where we were going, I could have picked a safer route! Camping Page 73/229
  45. Scene 16 Duration 07:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    That's a terrible idea! Ugh if I had known where we were going, I could have picked a safer route! Camping Page 74/229
  46. Scene 16 Duration 07:00 Panel 6 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    That's a terrible idea! Ugh if I had known where we were going, I could have picked a safer route! Camping Page 75/229
  47. Scene 16 Duration 07:00 Panel 7 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    That's a terrible idea! Ugh if I had known where we were going, I could have picked a safer route! Camping Page 76/229
  48. Scene 17 Duration 03:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    We should turn around and find a safer way up! Camping Page 77/229
  49. Scene 17 Duration 03:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    We should turn around and find a safer way up! Camping Page 78/229
  50. Scene 17 Duration 03:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    We should turn around and find a safer way up! Camping Page 79/229
  51. Scene 18 Duration 02:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    What are you waiting for? Come on! Camping Page 80/229
  52. Scene 18 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    What are you waiting for? Come on! Camping Page 81/229
  53. Scene 19 Duration 02:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Hurry up! We've got a pretty creek to find! Camping Page 82/229
  54. Scene 19 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Hurry up! We've got a pretty creek to find! Camping Page 83/229
  55. Scene 20 Duration 04:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    You can't be serious! I'm NOT climbing that! Camping Page 84/229
  56. Scene 20 Duration 04:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    You can't be serious! I'm NOT climbing that! Camping Page 85/229
  57. Scene 20 Duration 04:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Okay then. Here! Camping Page 86/229
  58. Scene 20 Duration 04:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Okay then. Here! Camping Page 87/229
  59. Scene 22 Duration 04:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Just step through the rope and I'll pull you up! Camping Page 92/229
  60. Scene 22 Duration 04:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Just step through the rope and I'll pull you up! Camping Page 93/229
  61. Scene 22 Duration 04:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Just step through the rope and I'll pull you up! Camping Page 94/229
  62. Scene 22 Duration 04:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Just step through the rope and I'll pull you up! Camping Page 95/229
  63. Scene 23 Duration 05:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Trust me! It's getting dark soon, we won't have time to go all the way back! Camping Page 96/229
  64. Scene 23 Duration 05:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Trust me! It's getting dark soon, we won't have time to go all the way back! Camping Page 97/229
  65. Scene 23 Duration 05:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    FINE! I think this is a terrible idea, but I'll do it. Camping Page 98/229
  66. Scene 23 Duration 05:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    But if I die out here, it's on you. Camping Page 99/229
  67. Scene 23 Duration 05:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    But if I die out here, it's on you. Camping Page 100/229
  68. Scene 29 Duration 01:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    How do you like the view?! Camping Page 120/229
  69. Scene 30 Duration 06:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    it's all right I guess. Camping Page 123/229
  70. Scene 30 Duration 06:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Nothing worth risking my life for. Camping Page 124/229
  71. Scene 30 Duration 06:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Nothing worth risking my life for. Camping Page 125/229
  72. Scene 31 Duration 05:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Right...of course. Camping Page 128/229
  73. Scene 31 Duration 05:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Right...of course. Camping Page 129/229
  74. Scene 31 Duration 05:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Uhh...let's keep going then... Camping Page 130/229
  75. Scene 31 Duration 05:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Uhh...let's keep going then... Camping Page 131/229
  76. Scene 36 Duration 05:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    The soil is pretty moist...We're almost to the creek! Camping Page 143/229
  77. Scene 36 Duration 05:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    The soil is pretty moist...We're almost to the creek! Camping Page 144/229
  78. Scene 37 Duration 03:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Should be just a bit--- Camping Page 149/229
  79. Scene 38 Duration 04:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    We're staying right here! Camping Page 151/229
  80. Scene 38 Duration 04:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    We're staying right here! Camping Page 152/229
  81. Scene 38 Duration 04:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    You clearly have no idea where we are and it's getting too dark to keep going. Camping Page 153/229
  82. Scene 38 Duration 04:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    You clearly have no idea where we are and it's getting too dark to keep going. Camping Page 154/229
  83. Scene 39 Duration 02:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    But we're so close! Camping Page 155/229
  84. Scene 39 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    But we're so close! Camping Page 156/229
  85. Scene 40 Duration 04:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    I'M EXHAUSTED, GISELLE! Camping Page 157/229
  86. Scene 40 Duration 04:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    I'M HUNGRY AND I WANT TO STOP!! Camping Page 158/229
  87. Scene 40 Duration 04:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    THIS WHOLE TRIP HAS BEEN SO STUPID!! Camping Page 159/229
  88. Scene 42 Duration 03:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    I'll start setting up... Camping Page 164/229
  89. Scene 43 Duration 08:00 Panel 7 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I'm sorry this trip sucks so much for you. Camping Page 171/229
  90. Scene 46 Duration 07:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Ya know...I never realized how nice it was being out here... Camping Page 183/229
  91. Scene 46 Duration 07:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Ya know...I never realized how nice it was being out here... Camping Page 184/229
  92. Scene 46 Duration 07:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    This trip was actually fun!!! Camping Page 185/229
  93. Scene 46 Duration 07:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    This trip was actually fun!!! Camping Page 186/229
  94. Scene 47 Duration 03:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Hey about earlier.. Camping Page 190/229
  95. Scene 47 Duration 03:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    I was being a bit-- Camping Page 191/229
  96. Scene 49 Duration 04:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Cautious, thank you. Camping Page 193/229
  97. Scene 49 Duration 04:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Maybe just a bit uptight. Camping Page 195/229
  98. Scene 49 Duration 04:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Sorry I snapped at you earlier... Camping Page 196/229
  99. Scene 50 Duration 07:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    and I shouldn't have made you do things you didn't want to... Camping Page 199/229
  100. Scene 50 Duration 07:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I knew you weren't into outdoor stuff to begin with. Camping Page 200/229
  101. Scene 50 Duration 07:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    UGH I'M SORRY! Camping Page 201/229
  102. Scene 50 Duration 07:00 Panel 6 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    You were right... I'm sorry this trip ended up being so crappy-- Camping Page 202/229
  103. Scene 50 Duration 07:00 Panel 7 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    You were right... I'm sorry this trip ended up being so crappy-- Camping Page 203/229
  104. Scene 51 Duration 06:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    It wasn't crappy! Camping Page 204/229
  105. Scene 51 Duration 06:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    I couldn't even find the creek... Camping Page 207/229
  106. Scene 51 Duration 06:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    and there wasn't anything for you to enjoy here! Camping Page 208/229
  107. Scene 51 Duration 06:00 Panel 6 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    That's not true! Camping Page 209/229
  108. Scene 52 Duration 02:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    These views were amazing! I would have never seen them on my own! Camping Page 210/229
  109. Scene 52 Duration 02:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    These views were amazing! I would have never seen them on my own! Camping Page 211/229
  110. Scene 53 Duration 05:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Soooo you DID like the view huh? Camping Page 213/229
  111. Scene 53 Duration 05:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Guess I'm kind of a pro at this. Camping Page 215/229
  112. Scene 54 Duration 07:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Thanks for coming with me dude... Camping Page 217/229
  113. Scene 54 Duration 07:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Thanks for coming with me dude... Camping Page 218/229
  114. Scene 54 Duration 07:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Thanks for coming with me dude... Camping Page 219/229
  115. Scene 54 Duration 07:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Even though you were scared and thought you were gonna die! Camping Page 221/229
  116. Scene 54 Duration 07:00 Panel 6 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    HA HA. Laugh it up all you want. Camping Page 222/229
  117. Scene 54 Duration 07:00 Panel 7 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    In my defense, this was worth the almost dying part. Camping Page 223/229
  118. Scene 55 Duration 06:00 Panel 1 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Worth it enough to do this again next weekend? Camping Page 224/229
  119. Scene 55 Duration 06:00 Panel 2 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Worth it enough to do this again next weekend? Camping Page 225/229
  120. Scene 55 Duration 06:00 Panel 3 Duration 01:00 Dialog G:

    Worth it enough to do this again next weekend? Camping Page 226/229
  121. Scene 55 Duration 06:00 Panel 4 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Don't push it. Camping Page 227/229
  122. Scene 55 Duration 06:00 Panel 5 Duration 01:00 Dialog R:

    Don't push it. Camping Page 228/229