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Dirty Money (2022)
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Katherine Myong
December 18, 2022
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Dirty Money (2022)
"A tactless remark results in an unfortunate deal with the devil."
Katherine Myong
December 18, 2022
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Transcript
None
None
None
Receptionist: Next!
Receptionist: Next!
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
[Muffled Arguing]
[Muffled Arguing]
Reaper: —AAAAAAHH!
[Crash!]
[Crash!]
None
None
None
Receptionist: He’s ready to see you now.
Receptionist: He’s ready to see you now.
None
None
None
- Your six o’clock is here, sir.
- Your six o’clock is here, sir.
- Your six o’clock is here, sir.
- Your six o’clock is here, sir.
None
[Slam!]
Cindy: Um - hello, sir?
Cindy: Um - hello, sir?
Lucy: Ah, the new ghoul.
Lucy: Ah, the new ghoul.
- What do you want?
Cindy: I’m here to talk to you about the budget
reports for the season.
Cindy: I’m here to talk to you about the budget
reports for the season.
Cindy: I’m here to talk to you about the budget
reports for the season.
- …
- …
- Um…
- I was going over the costs and returns over
the last few years…
- I was going over the costs and returns over
the last few years…
- And I realised that were going into a bit
of a downward -
- And I realised that were going into a bit
of a downward -
Lucy: Get to the point.
Lucy: Get to the point.
Lucy: Get to the point.
None
None
Cindy: You’re broke.
Lucy: WHAT?!
Lucy: WHAT?!
Lucy: WHAT?!
Cindy: You have no funds left.
Lucy: HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Lucy: HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Lucy: HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Lucy: HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Cindy: Well, for starters…
Cindy: Well, for starters…
- That giant gold statue of yourself you had made
last quarter.
- That giant gold statue of yourself you had made
last quarter.
- That giant gold statue of yourself you had made
last quarter.
- That giant gold statue of yourself you had made
last quarter.
- That giant gold statue of yourself you had made
last quarter.
Lucy: How DARE you.
Lucy: How DARE you.
- How dare you come into my office, and INSINUATE
that my statue -
- How dare you come into my office, and INSINUATE
that my statue -
- MY STATUE - is out of budget!
- MY STATUE - is out of budget!
Cindy: Well,
- Among other things.
Lucy: YOU! A MERE SPIRIT!
Lucy: YOU! A MERE SPIRIT!
- A GHOUL!
- A GHOUL!
- AN INTERN!
- AN INTERN!
None
Cindy: [Laughs]
- Excuse me?
Lucy: You’re excused.
Cindy: An intern?
Cindy: An intern?
- Are you serious?
- AN INTERN?
- AN INTERN?
- A FREAKING INTERN?
- A FREAKING INTERN?
- A FREAKING INTERN?
- I’ve been working here for at least three hundred
years,
- I’ve been working here for at least three hundred
years,
- I’ve been working here for at least three hundred
years,
- I’ve been working here for at least three hundred
years,
- I’ve been working here for at least three hundred
years,
- I’ve been working here for at least three hundred
years,
- I’ve been working here for at least three hundred
years,
- I’ve been working here for at least three hundred
years,
- and you call me -
- and you call me -
- AN INTERN?!
- How many Christmas parties have I attended?
- How many Christmas parties have I attended?
- How many Christmas parties have I attended?
- How many Thanksgiving soirees?
- How many Thanksgiving soirees?
- How many HR regulated events have I attended -
- How many HR regulated events have I attended -
- How many HR regulated events have I attended -
Lucy: F- Free events! With free food! On my dime!
Lucy: F- Free events! With free food! On my dime!
None
Cindy: ...Oh!
Cindy: ...Oh!
None
- OH!!!
- WOW!
- THANKS!
- THANKS!
- That makes it ALL BETTER!
- That makes it ALL BETTER!
- That makes it ALL BETTER!
- No.
- I am your -
- I am your -
- I am your -
- God -
- Damned -
- Accountant.
- I am the single most important person you will
deal with in your entire miserable existence -
- I am the single most important person you will
deal with in your entire miserable existence -
- OBVIOUSLY, considering how BROKE you are.
- OBVIOUSLY, considering how BROKE you are.
- We had to shut off the fire pits because
of how low on funds we are!
- We had to shut off the fire pits because
of how low on funds we are!
Lucy: You shut off the fire pits?!
Cindy: WE SHUT OFF THE FIRE PITS.
Cindy: WE SHUT OFF THE FIRE PITS.
Cindy: WE SHUT OFF THE FIRE PITS.
Cindy: WE SHUT OFF THE FIRE PITS.
- And now,
- I’m getting complaints from HR about how -
- I’m getting complaints from HR about how -
- “Ooooh, the damned souls are feeling cramped,”
- “Ooooh, the damned souls are feeling cramped,”
- “Ooooh, the damned souls are feeling cramped,”
- “Ooooh, the damned souls are feeling cramped,”
- “Because now it’s ‘just a pit!’”
- “Because now it’s ‘just a pit!’”
- “And nobody’s getting burned!”
- “And nobody’s getting burned!”
- “The hellhounds are starving!”
- “The hellhounds are starving!”
- “The reapers need new scythes!”
- “The reapers need new scythes!”
- “Oh, Cindy, Cindy, what do we do?!”
- “Oh, Cindy, Cindy, what do we do?!”
- Who do you think has to deal with all
of your messes?
- Who do you think has to deal with all
of your messes?
- Who do you think has to deal with all
of your messes?
- Not the interns.
- Not the interns.
- Not the interns.
- Not the assistants.
- Not the assistants.
- ME.
- ME.
- ME.
- CINDY.
- CINDY.
None
Lucy: …What do you want?
Cindy: Some recognition.
- And a raise.
- I’m not just your accountant anymore.
- I am your full-on financial manager.
- I am your full-on financial manager.
- I am your full-on financial manager.
Lucy: Fine! Fine. Just fix this!
Lucy: Fine! Fine. Just fix this!
Cindy: Do we have a deal?
Lucy: Deal.
Lucy: Deal.
None
None
Cindy: Good.
- [giggles]
- [giggles]
- Now…
- Now…
- It’s time for us to make a few changes
around here.
- You with me?
None