Bad Cocoa

How-to guide for building the kind of code you will deeply regret later

1. Bad Cocoa How to write the code of deep regret quickly and easily - @kattrali
2. Think Monolithic ensure changing one part of an app requires changing them all
3. Long Selector is Best Selector
4. Test Private Stuff ensure every test will break during refactors maximize the number of mocks, stubs, and performSelector() calls
5. Do Not Write Tests no worries, the compiler will catch your bugs
6. Use Delegates with Callbacks If you don't need asynchronous callbacks for synchronous code, you aren't trying hard enough -initWithDelegate:callback:
7. Subclass Subclass Subclass things will be easy when you need to swap out superclasses sometime!
8. Categoriception Extend your own classes with several categories instead of containing each unit of related functionality in a single class
9. Maximize Responsibilities Per Class ensure the difficulty of changing individual components later
10. Safely assign many responsibilities using protocols @class MyController : NSObject <MyControllerDelegate, Why, God, Please, Stop, WithTheProtocols>
11. Safely assign many responsibilities using protocols BONUS: Make each component of a protocol optional, for maximum flexibility and verbosity (and less warnings!!)
12. Procrastinate on Performance always wait until you have a problem before opening Instruments.app
13. if (@"Avoid Static Analysis") goto fail; goto fail;
14. Always Swing the Heaviest Hammer NSOperation and Core Data all day every day - maximize boilerplate code (GCD and NSCoding don't real)
15. Make Code Styles Inconsistent increase the difficulty of using or extending your project avoid code style tools like clang- format and Uncrustify
16. Do not write documentation especially avoid easy-to-use tooling like appledoc
17. Optimize early Reduce duplication as soon as possible, making code less flexible later
18. When in doubt, add to AppDelegate There is no better place to dump bits of code which do not belong anywhere and need access to application state certainly not new classes
19. #define over static variables get the most of your available memory for your numbers, strings, and colors
20. Thank you!