fear

Closing keynote at ScotlandJS in Edinburgh, 3 June 2016

1. FEAR brought to you by @rockbot
2. @rockbot #scotlandjs what scares you? The following slide may contain mild peril
3. @rockbot #scotlandjs [insert scariest thing here]
4. @rockbot #scotlandjs your fears are everywhere
5. @rockbot #scotlandjs fear
6. @rockbot #scotlandjs fear ˈfir/ noun an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
7. @rockbot #scotlandjs it’s not just in your head
8. flic.kr/p/k83A2y
9. @rockbot #scotlandjs OMG IT’S A BEAR 1
10. @rockbot #scotlandjs heart races
11. @rockbot #scotlandjs spine shivers
12. @rockbot #scotlandjs muscles tense
13. @rockbot #scotlandjs top - 04:01:21 up 11315 days, 13:12, 1 user, load average: 8.30, 2.10, 0.05 Tasks: 4 total, 1 running, 0 sleeping, 0 stopped, 0 zombie %Cpu(s): 1.3 us, 0.7 sy, 0.0 ni, 97.0 id, 0.0 wa, 0.0 hi, 0.0 si, 1.0 st KiB Mem: 3854848 total, 1898648 used, 200 free, 209584 buffers KiB Swap: 0 total, 0 used, 0 free. 361196 cached Mem PID USER PR NI VIRT RES SHR S %CPU %MEM TIME+ COMMAND 3886 root 20 0 915260 22968 2760 S 73.3 0.6 436:40.06 heart 8046 root 20 0 1371864 202552 7272 S 60.3 5.3 65:06.08 muscles 8196 root 20 0 1364472 196448 7300 S 0.3 5.1 65:59.87 stomach 8270 root 20 0 1369684 200156 7264 S 0.7 5.2 66:50.11 attention 1 root 20 0 33604 2580 1112 S 0.0 0.1 0:20.61 init
14. @rockbot #scotlandjs 2 OMG… MAYBE IT’S A BEAR?
15. @rockbot #scotlandjs
16. @rockbot #scotlandjs
17. @rockbot #scotlandjs
18. @rockbot #scotlandjs what does it do? growls. with fangs. big paws with claws. what should we do? run. play dead. DO NOT APPROACH OMG. IS THREAT: ✅ bear scary deadly fluff animal
19. flic.kr/p/k83A2y
20. @rockbot #scotlandjs doesn't quite match
21. @rockbot #scotlandjs
22. @rockbot #scotlandjs
23. @rockbot #scotlandjs what does it do? poops in cubes. sleeps a lot. what should we do? squeeeeeee. TAKE PICTURES. LOTS OF PICTURES. #wombatselfie IS THREAT: ❌ wombat teehee fuzzy cuddle ball. totes not a bear.
24. flic.kr/p/k83A2y
25. @rockbot #scotlandjs it's a match!
26. @rockbot #scotlandjs oh hey it's cool
27. @rockbot #scotlandjs time to reset
28. @rockbot #scotlandjs for most of us, the response is real, even when the threat is not
29. @rockbot #scotlandjs fortunately, often the fear isn't quite terror
30. @rockbot #scotlandjs but sometimes the fear is bigger than it needs to be
31. @rockbot #scotlandjs therapy is devops pair programming for your brain btw:
32. @rockbot #scotlandjs managing fear
33. @rockbot #scotlandjs identify it A
34. @rockbot #scotlandjs retrain your brain B
35. @rockbot #scotlandjs breathe 1
36. @rockbot #scotlandjs clear your mind 2
37. @rockbot #scotlandjs assess the situation 3
38. @rockbot #scotlandjs 4 make a plan
39. @rockbot #scotlandjs let’s try this again
40. @rockbot #scotlandjs what scares you? The following slide probably won’t contain mild peril
41. @rockbot #scotlandjs [insert scariest thing here]
42. @rockbot #scotlandjs you're not alone
43. @rockbot #scotlandjs everyone is afraid sometimes
44. @rockbot #scotlandjs other people act funny when they're scared
45. @rockbot #scotlandjs we're all in this together
46. @rockbot #scotlandjs What would you do if you weren't afraid? — my mom, @daguiarvelez (maybe also Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In)
47. Raquel Vélez @rockbot http://rckbt.me raquel@ js.com