Living with this perfectionist mind (v1)

Can you imagine not being proud of your achievements or, perhaps, the constant feeling that you're not good enough?

Despite the challenges I've overcome, that's usually how I feel. And, yeah, at a certain point you (kind of) get used to it. However, I cannot afford to endlessly seek perfection in every single thing I do.

We'll cover here some of the traits I carry, their impact in my life and work, and the techniques I use that help me to be productive. Hopefully, these ideas will help you to improve your own work or understand your colleagues who might also have these traits - and help them.

Transcript

1. Luís Cobucci Luís Cobucci @lcobucci @lcobucci Living with Living with this this perfectionist mind perfectionist mind
2. People People in our industry are in our industry are struggling struggling with their mental health with their mental health
3. Many are feeling Many are feeling alone alone all the time all the time
4. We re here to talk ’ We re here to talk ’
5. We re here to talk ’ We re here to talk ’ To have mental health issues is to be To have mental health issues is to be human human Anything Anything human human is is mentionable mentionable Anything mentionable is Anything mentionable is manageable manageable
6. Perfectionism Perfectionism
7.  I’m a software engineer, I’m a software engineer, not not a psychologist a psychologist
8.  I’m a software engineer, I’m a software engineer, not not a psychologist a psychologist Buuuuuut Buuuuuut 
9. Perfectionism is a Perfectionism is a personality trait personality trait that (usually) that (usually) leads someone to: leads someone to:
10. Perfectionism is a Perfectionism is a personality trait personality trait that (usually) that (usually) leads someone to: leads someone to:   Strive for flawlessness Strive for flawlessness
11. Perfectionism is a Perfectionism is a personality trait personality trait that (usually) that (usually) leads someone to: leads someone to:   Strive for flawlessness Strive for flawlessness   Set impossibly high standards Set impossibly high standards
12. Perfectionism is a Perfectionism is a personality trait personality trait that (usually) that (usually) leads someone to: leads someone to:   Strive for flawlessness Strive for flawlessness   Set impossibly high standards Set impossibly high standards   Self-criticism Self-criticism
13. Perfectionism isn’t black and white Perfectionism isn’t black and white
14. Perfectionism isn’t black and white Perfectionism isn’t black and white Oneself Others Society
15. Perfectionism is the setting of, and striving Perfectionism is the setting of, and striving for, very demanding standards that are self- for, very demanding standards that are self- imposed and relentlessly pursued despite this imposed and relentlessly pursued despite this causing problems. It involves basing one’s causing problems. It involves basing one’s self-worth almost exclusively on how well self-worth almost exclusively on how well these high standards are met. these high standards are met. Shafran, Egan, Wade (2010) Shafran, Egan, Wade (2010)  
16. Perfectionism is the setting of, and striving Perfectionism is the setting of, and striving for, for, very demanding standards very demanding standards that are that are self- self- imposed imposed and and relentlessly pursued relentlessly pursued despite this despite this causing problems. It involves basing one’s causing problems. It involves basing one’s self-worth almost exclusively on how well self-worth almost exclusively on how well these high standards are met. these high standards are met. Shafran, Egan, Wade (2010) Shafran, Egan, Wade (2010)  
17. Perfectionism is the setting of, and striving Perfectionism is the setting of, and striving for, for, very demanding standards very demanding standards that are that are self- self- imposed imposed and and relentlessly pursued relentlessly pursued despite this despite this causing problems. It involves causing problems. It involves basing one’s basing one’s self-worth self-worth almost exclusively on almost exclusively on how well how well these high standards are met these high standards are met. . Shafran, Egan, Wade (2010) Shafran, Egan, Wade (2010)  
18. Is it Is it always always bad? bad?
19. Is it Is it always always bad? bad? Well, not really... Well, not really...
20. If we just look at Google/YouTube search results If we just look at Google/YouTube search results
21. If we just look at Google/YouTube search results If we just look at Google/YouTube search results
22. If we just look at Google/YouTube search results If we just look at Google/YouTube search results
23. If we just look at Google/YouTube search results If we just look at Google/YouTube search results
24. If we just look at Google/YouTube search results If we just look at Google/YouTube search results
25. Adaptive Adaptive Maladaptive Maladaptive Perfectionism Perfectionism
26. Adaptive Adaptive Maladaptive Maladaptive Perfectionism Perfectionism Failure oriented Failure oriented Achievement oriented Achievement oriented
27. Adaptive Adaptive Maladaptive Maladaptive Perfectionism Perfectionism Failure oriented Failure oriented Achievement oriented Achievement oriented
28. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism?
29. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? https://youtu.be/NpVfwjFX3Tg https://youtu.be/NpVfwjFX3Tg
30. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem
31. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations
32. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task
33. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Avoids Avoids
34. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids
35. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids
36. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids Undermines Undermines achievements achievements
37. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids Undermines Undermines achievements achievements Self-criticism Self-criticism
38. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids Undermines Undermines achievements achievements Self-criticism Self-criticism Anxiety Anxiety
39. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids Undermines Undermines achievements achievements Self-criticism Self-criticism Anxiety Anxiety Depression Depression
40. What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? What’s the problem with the maladaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids Undermines Undermines achievements achievements Self-criticism Self-criticism Anxiety Anxiety Depression Depression OCPD OCPD
41. Luís Cobucci Luís Cobucci @lcobucci @lcobucci
42. Superpowers! Superpowers!
44. Living behind a mask Living behind a mask
45. Oh the shame! Oh the shame!
46. Oh the shame! Oh the shame! We all got to do our research. We all got to do our research. So, no cheating... So, no cheating...
47. Oh the shame! Oh the shame! We all got to do our research. We all got to do our research. So, no sh*tting... So, no sh*tting...   COBUCCI, Luís (2016) COBUCCI, Luís (2016)
49. Holding people back Holding people back
50. Negativity storm Negativity storm
52. How can we shift to adaptive perfectionism? How can we shift to adaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids Undermines Undermines achievements achievements Self-criticism Self-criticism
53. How can we shift to adaptive perfectionism? How can we shift to adaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids Undermines Undermines achievements achievements Self-criticism Self-criticism
54. How can we shift to adaptive perfectionism? How can we shift to adaptive perfectionism? Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Rigid standards Rigid standards and expectations and expectations Task Task Temporarily Temporarily meets standards meets standards Doesn’t meet Doesn’t meet standards standards Avoids Avoids Undermines Undermines achievements achievements Self-criticism Self-criticism
55. Therapy Therapy
56. Meditation Meditation
57. Family really matters Family really matters
58. Laugh at your mistakes Laugh at your mistakes
59. Find different people to work with Find different people to work with
60. Manifesto for agile software development Manifesto for agile software development
61. Manifesto for agile software development Manifesto for agile software development Working software is the Working software is the primary measure of progress primary measure of progress
62. Manifesto for agile software development Manifesto for agile software development Working software is the Working software is the primary measure of progress primary measure of progress Continuous attention to technical Continuous attention to technical excellence enhances agility excellence enhances agility
63. Manifesto for agile software development Manifesto for agile software development Working software is the Working software is the primary measure of progress primary measure of progress Continuous attention to technical Continuous attention to technical excellence enhances agility excellence enhances agility Simplicity -- the art of Simplicity -- the art of maximising the amount of maximising the amount of work not done – is essential work not done – is essential
64. Kanban Kanban 
65. ATDD ATDD
66. Git history as a journal Git history as a journal
67. OSS as a way to let off steam OSS as a way to let off steam
69. Mastery instead of perfection Mastery instead of perfection
70. Perfectionism is a heavy armour Perfectionism is a heavy armour
71. Thank you very much! Thank you very much!  @lcobucci @lcobucci