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The Book Nerd's Guide to JavaScript

Angus Croll
November 17, 2014

The Book Nerd's Guide to JavaScript

Given at DotJS, Paris on 17th November 2014

Angus Croll

November 17, 2014
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  1. "There are indeed many ways to do the same thing

    in JS. That's one of the beauties of the language" - Peter van der Zee (@kuvos)
  2. “You need a lot of bad code to write good

    code” - Substack (dotJS 2014)
  3. // A succession of creatures mount the stairs;! // each

    creature's stride exceeds that of its predecessor! var monstersAscendingAStaircase = function(numberOfSteps) {! var stairs = []; stepsUntrodden = [];! var largestGait = Math.sqrt(numberOfSteps);! for (var i = 2; i <= largestGait; i++) {! if (!stairs[i]) {! for (var j = i * i; j <= numberOfSteps; j += i) {! stairs[j] = 'stomp';! }! }! }! ! // Long-limbed monsters won't tread on prime numbered stairs.! for (var i = 2; i <= numberOfSteps; i++) {! if(!stairs[i]) {! stepsUntrodden.push(i);! }! }! ! // Here, then, is our answer.! return stepsUntrodden;! };!
  4. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

    11 12 13 14 2 3 Borges vs. Prime Numbers
  5. function downTheRabbitHole(growThisBig) {! var theFullDeck = Array(growThisBig);! var theHatter =

    Function('return this/4').call(2*2);! var theMarchHare = Boolean("The frumious Bandersnatch!");! ! var theVerdict = "the white rabbit".split(/the march hare/).slice(theHatter);! ! //into the pool of tears...! eval(theFullDeck.join("if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {\! theMarchHare = 1;\! theVerdict.push(theHatter);\! " + theFullDeck.join("theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter]=true;") + "}")! );! ! return theVerdict;! }!
  6. function downTheRabbitHole(growThisBig) {! var theFullDeck = Array(growThisBig);! var theHatter =

    Function('return this/4').call(2*2);! var theMarchHare = Boolean("The frumious Bandersnatch!");! ! var theVerdict = "the white rabbit".split(/the march hare/).slice(theHatter);! ! //into the pool of tears...! eval(theFullDeck.join("if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {\! theMarchHare = 1;\! theVerdict.push(theHatter);\! " + theFullDeck.join("theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter]=true;") + "}")! );! ! return theVerdict;! }!
  7. function downTheRabbitHole(growThisBig) {! var theFullDeck = Array(growThisBig);! var theHatter =

    Function('return this/4').call(2*2);! var theMarchHare = Boolean("The frumious Bandersnatch!");! ! var theVerdict = "the white rabbit".split(/the march hare/).slice(theHatter);! ! //into the pool of tears...! eval(theFullDeck.join("if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {\! theMarchHare = 1;\! theVerdict.push(theHatter);\! " + theFullDeck.join("theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter]=true;") + "}")! );! ! return theVerdict;! }!
  8. function downTheRabbitHole(growThisBig) {! var theFullDeck = Array(growThisBig);! var theHatter =

    Function('return this/4').call(2*2);! var theMarchHare = Boolean("The frumious Bandersnatch!");! ! var theVerdict = "the white rabbit".split(/the march hare/).slice(theHatter);! ! //into the pool of tears...! eval(theFullDeck.join("if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {\! theMarchHare = 1;\! theVerdict.push(theHatter);\! " + theFullDeck.join("theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter]=true;") + "}")! );! ! return theVerdict;! }!
  9. eval(“if(!theFullDeck[++theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+ +theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+ +theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+

    +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+ +theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+ +theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+ +theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+ +theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}”);!
  10. eval(“if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {! theMarchHare = 1;! theVerdict.push(theHatter);! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter]

    = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! }! if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {! theMarchHare = 1;! theVerdict.push(theHatter);! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;! }! if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {! theMarchHare = 1;!
  11. Books: http://pixgood.com/classic-book-spines.html/ Montparnasse Tower: http://allparisguides.com Eiffel Tower: Yellow Monster: http://content.mycutegraphics.com/

    Green Monster: http://wondersofdisney2.yolasite.com/ White Rabbit: http://www.clker.com/ Mad Hatter, March Hare: http://wondersofdisney2.yolasite.com/ Cow, tree, office buildings: clipartpanda.com/ Grass: imgarcade.com/ Lion cubs: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mbiddulph/6947067048/ Cheetah cubs: http://www.bhmpics.com/view-cheetah_cubs_playing-1920x1080.html/ ! Image credits