Ask vs. Guess Culture Communication (eurucamp)

@kwugirl Ask vs. Guess Cultures KWu, an Ask Culture person
Software engineer

@kwugirl

@kwugirl You

@kwugirl You Jamie

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor Can Taylor stay with you?

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor ?

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor I’ll just tell ! them no.

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor or

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor Ugh, this puts me in a
difficult position.

@kwugirl “I’ll just tell   them no.” “Ugh, this puts
me in a difﬁcult position.” Ask Culture Guess Culture

@kwugirl litmus test overview of cultures a few examples pros/cons
further considerations strategies for handling work situations

further considerations strategies for handling work situations ! overview of cultures! ! ! ! !

@kwugirl

@kwugirl it’s OK to ask for anything + you’re OK
getting ‘no’ for an answer ASK

@kwugirl avoid asking unless the answer will be yes GUESS

@kwugirl extend out delicate feelers GUESS

@kwugirl don’t have to explicitly ask GUESS

@kwugirl if you accept, are you imposing too much? GUESS

@kwugirl putting others in the position of having to say
‘no’ seems rude GUESS

@kwugirl ASK GUESS

@kwugirl ASK GUESS Northeast

@kwugirl ASK GUESS Northeast Midwest

@kwugirl ASK GUESS Northeast “you should just ask” Midwest

@kwugirl ASK GUESS Northeast “you should just ask” “ehhh…” Midwest

@kwugirl ASK GUESS Northeast Midwest

@kwugirl ASK GUESS

@kwugirl one culture ≯ another culture

further considerations strategies for handling work situations ! ! a few examples! ! ! !

@kwugirl

@kwugirl “Hmm, I don’t have time to make   lunch
for next week.”

for next week.” Dan hears

for next week.” “Could you make extra food so I have lunch for the week?” Dan hears

@kwugirl “I’m going to cook 2 meals this   weekend.”

I think

“That’s so weird, Dan’s planning to make an extra meal this weekend, but ok.” I think

“That’s so weird, Dan’s planning to make an extra meal this weekend, but ok.” What I did not say:   “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” I think

@kwugirl End Result

@kwugirl End Result “Why do we have so much food
in the fridge??”

@kwugirl End Result “Why do we have so much food
in the fridge??” “I’m such a good husband.”

@kwugirl example: discussing rent http://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2015/04/14/the-money-taboo-why-it-exists-who-it-benefits-and-how-to-navigate-it/

@kwugirl goal: ﬁnd out if new apartment’s rent is a
good deal

@kwugirl

@kwugirl “What is your rent.”

@kwugirl “I’m looking at this place, is that rent reasonable?”

@kwugirl “I’m looking for an apartment.”

@kwugirl “Do you know what the range tends to be?”

further considerations strategies for handling work situations ! ! ! pros/cons! ! !

@kwugirl Ask Culture

@kwugirl Ask Culture Prioritizes efﬁciency

@kwugirl Ask Culture Prioritizes efﬁciency No ambiguity

@kwugirl Ask Culture Prioritizes efﬁciency No ambiguity Gets what you
want  (in the short-term)

want  (in the short-term) More open conﬂict

want  (in the short-term) More open conﬂict Can make people feel uncomfortable

@kwugirl Guess Culture

@kwugirl Guess Culture Prioritizes not   hurting feelings

@kwugirl Guess Culture Prioritizes not   hurting feelings More polite

Hard if you’re bad at   reading social cues

Hard if you’re bad at   reading social cues Can feel like no one is listening to you

further considerations strategies for handling work situations ! ! ! ! further considerations! !

@kwugirl

@kwugirl personality family __context__

@kwugirl company/team cultures

@kwugirl women  ˂

@kwugirl women  ˂ “abrasive”  ˂

@kwugirl women  ˂ “abrasive”  ˂ “timid”  ˁ

@kwugirl ???

@kwugirl family

@kwugirl family work

@kwugirl how well you know someone ??????? stranger BFF

further considerations strategies for handling work situations ! ! ! ! ! strategies for handling!

@kwugirl If you’re from Ask Culture…

@kwugirl If you’re from Ask Culture… Make a Guess Culture
close friend

close friend Listen more closely

close friend Listen more closely Apologize if you realize >1 interpretation

@kwugirl If you’re from Guess Culture…

@kwugirl If you’re from Guess Culture… Remember that people might
be   unaware of “the rules”

@kwugirl If you’re from Guess Culture… Remember that people might
be   unaware of “the rules” Resist the urge to “soften” a “No”

further considerations strategies for handling work situations ! ! ! ! ! ! work situations

@kwugirl discuss communication styles

@kwugirl “It really helps me to get near-realtime feedback.”

@kwugirl “Sometimes I have trouble speaking up, it would really
help if…”

@kwugirl “We have a few options that work, A/B/C. Let
me know!”

@kwugirl Ask Manager & Guess Report

@kwugirl Ask Manager & Guess Report positive reinforcement for saying
“no”

“no” be extremely wary of giving illusion of choice

“no” be extremely wary of giving illusion of choice don’t default processes to people needing to ask

“no” be extremely wary of giving illusion of choice don’t default processes to people needing to ask PAY ATTENTION

@kwugirl “Hey, remember when we talked about how I should
be more assertive? Well, _____”

@kwugirl use this talk as an excuse!

@kwugirl “I went to this amazing talk at eurucamp…”

@kwugirl getting/giving help

@kwugirl discuss with mentors

@kwugirl

@kwugirl “I’m not sure I understand  this feature.”

@kwugirl “I’m not sure I understand  this feature.” (“Can someone
help me?”)

@kwugirl don’t assume   silence == ok

@kwugirl “Do you have any questions for me?”

@kwugirl “Where can I help more, ___, ___, or ___?”

@kwugirl pairing

@kwugirl pairing retro

@kwugirl “I’m not sure I absorbed enough out of that
last pairing session.”

@kwugirl “What would work better?”

@kwugirl “We were kind of in an exploratory  phase…maybe next
time we can save pairing for later?”

@kwugirl “Hey, I have a question, but  it’s totally ok
to say no.”

@kwugirl “Hey, I have a question, but   it’s totally
ok to say no.”

@kwugirl “it’s ok if you’re busy…” “Hey, I have a
question, but   it’s totally ok to say no.”

@kwugirl “it’s ok if you’re busy…” “I understand if you’re
busy…” “Hey, I have a question, but   it’s totally ok to say no.”

@kwugirl be thoughtful, help each other

@kwugirl if you have any questions…

@kwugirl just ask. ;)

@kwugirl Safe Harbor This document and the information herein (including
any information that may be incorporated by reference) is provided for informational purposes only and should not be construed as an offer, commitment, promise or obligation on behalf of New Relic, Inc. (“New Relic”) to sell securities or deliver any product, material, code, functionality, or other feature. Any information provided hereby is proprietary to New Relic and may not be replicated or disclosed without New Relic’s express written permission. Such information may contain forward-looking statements within the meaning of federal securities laws. Any statement that is not a historical fact or refers to expectations, projections, future plans, objectives, estimates, goals, or other characterizations of future events is a forward-looking statement. These forward-looking statements can often be identiﬁed as such because the context of the statement will include words such as “believes,” “anticipates,” “expects” or words of similar import. Actual results may differ materially from those expressed in these forward-looking statements, which speak only as of the date hereof, and are subject to change at any time without notice. Existing and prospective investors, customers and other third parties transacting business with New Relic are cautioned not to place undue reliance on this forward-looking information. The achievement or success of the matters covered by such forward-looking statements are based on New Relic’s current assumptions, expectations, and beliefs and are subject to substantial risks, uncertainties, assumptions, and changes in circumstances that may cause the actual results, performance, or achievements to differ materially from those expressed or implied in any forward-looking statement. Further information on factors that could affect such forward-looking statements is included in the ﬁlings we make with the SEC from time to time. Copies of these documents may be obtained by visiting New Relic’s Investor Relations website at ir.newrelic.com or the SEC’s website at www.sec.gov. New Relic assumes no obligation and does not intend to update these forward-looking statements, except as required by law. New Relic makes no warranties, expressed or implied, in this document or otherwise, with respect to the information provided.

Ask vs. Guess Culture Communication (eurucamp)

Ask vs. Guess Culture Communication (eurucamp)

More Decks by Katherine Wu

Other Decks in Programming

Featured

Transcript