Experience Listening

This tutorial is about rediscovering the lost art of listening. It’s easy to get caught up in deliverables and processes, forgetting that our soft skills are the key to producing great insights about the humans we're learning about. Listening is arguably our most important - yet toughest - skill to master. We'll explore what bad listeners do, the effect of not listening - and techniques you can use to give people your time and attention, so you can become a great, active listener.

Transcript

1. Quick Quiz
2. Experience Listening Hearing the user experience @laura_yarrow
3. “The process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or non- verbal messages”. – International Listening Association. Listening
4. "Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened too, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand." Karl A. Menniger
5. Ernest Sirolli - Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!
6. Research suggests that we remember between 25% and 50% of what we hear
7. Poor listening Interrupts all the time Forgets what you said Talks more than listens Hurries you along Overly critical/only listening to respond Fakes attention
8. Think of a time this happened to you How did it make you feel?
9. Things in the vicinity distracting you Multi-tasking Thinking about what you will say next Boredom Your mind is elsewhere Why aren’t you listening?
10. The impact You’re not empathising Affects rapport with the other person Important information is missed You wont understand what they’re talking about The other person will feel/realise this and may react accordingly
11. Listening styles
12. Let’s do some marriage counselling* *I am not a marriage counsellor, do not trust what I say
13. Kim and Jake Selective listening and cognitive bias
14. KIM You never help around the house, you came home drunk last week, you forgot to pick the kids up from school, you never buy me flowers, you— JAKE I bought you flowers on your birthday!
15. KIM That was the first time you’ve bought me flowers in 8 years! JAKE So? None of my friends buy their partners flowers, even on valentines day!
16. KIM Anyway, the flowers you brought me that time were dead and you clearly got them from the petrol station as a last resort JAKE OH SHIT
17. How Jake could save his ass by actively listening
18. KIM You never help around the house, you came home drunk last week, you forgot to pick the kids up from school, you never buy me flowers, you— JAKE So, you feel I am being a bad parent, ignoring your needs, and allowing my social life to interfere with our relationship?
19. KIM yes, I just don’t think its fair JAKE What can I do which would make you feel better about our relationship?
20. David and Matthew Narcissistic listening
21. DAVID Work is so stressful at the moment…. MATTHEW Me too, you wouldn’t believe what someone at work did yesterday.
22. DAVID And it’s hard for me to pay enough attention to my personal life when I have this much on and just want to relax a little when I get home. MATTHEW Seriously, what she did was outrageous!
23. DAVID What did she do? MATTHEW Well, first she….
24. “There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak” Simon Sinek
25. Think of a number between 1 and 5 Keep it secret! Do not change it!
26. 1 2 3 4 5
27. How did it go? Did you guess your partners number? Did they guess yours? Reveal your numbers!
28. Experience listening 12 s te p s t o heari ng t h e us er exp e rience
29. First listen to yourself What’s on your mind? How do you feel? Can you let go of some thoughts?
30. VOCAL STYLE Speech rate Volume Style Tone
31. Body language Open body language Gestures (nodding) Posture (leaning in, tilting your head)
32. Eye contact Direct eye contact don't stare! Take eye breaks (down , not away)
33. VERBAL FOLLOWING Responding to the other person before changing the topic Participant: I wish that field was focussed by default You: I think thats a really good idea, i’ll let the designers know. Now if you were at work viewing this page….
34. PARAPHRASING Summarise what the person said Ensures accurate information gathering Helps you memorise “So what you’re saying is…” “Are you telling me…”
35. REFLECTING Repeating back the last word of their sentence Participant: “i’m really confused by where to click on the menu” You: “This menu?”
36. SILENCE Strategically saying nothing People sometimes fill silences with something they wouldn’t usually disclose
37. MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS Words or sounds to encourage and show interest “oh?” “yeah?” “uh huh?”
38. Emotional discovery Respond to emotion in the persons voice instead of content “you seem a little frustrated “
39. Empathy Understand and identify with the emotions of the other person “I had exactly the same thing yesterday, I lost all my work on the computer. I felt awful.”
40. Open & closed questions Open questions encourage elaboration on answers Closed questions force a concrete answer
41. “No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.” Proverb
42. Summary Put yourself in the other persons shoes Tune into their wavelength Listen from within their frame of reference, not just yours Listen not just to whats being said, but whats not being said Listen for the underlying emotions, feelings, needs and wants
43. “Most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening than talking” Bernard Baruch
45. Thank you for listening Laura Yarrow @laura_yarrow