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Lies

Ernie Miller
November 12, 2016

 Lies

All abstractions are lies, if they are abstractions at all, and as developers, we live our lives surrounded by them. What makes a some abstractions better than others? This will be an opinionated and empowering look at the value and nature of abstractions, with a jaunt through quantum mechanics and the nature of reality.

You know, just your average talk.

Ernie Miller

November 12, 2016
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  1. #!/usr/bin/perl # Print the text of "99 Bottles of Beer"

    ''=~( '(?{' .('`' |'%') .('[' ^'-') .('`' |'!') .('`' |',') .'"'. '\\$' .'==' .('[' ^'+') .('`' |'/') .('[' ^'+') .'||' .(';' &'=') .(';' &'=') .';-' .'-'. '\\$' .'=;' .('[' ^'(') .('[' ^'.') .('`' |'"') .('!' ^'+') .'_\\{' .'(\\$' .';=('. '\\$=|' ."\|".( '`'^'.' ).(('`')| '/').').' .'\\"'.+( '{'^'['). ('`'|'"') .('`'|'/' ).('['^'/') .('['^'/'). ('`'|',').( '`'|('%')). '\\".\\"'.( '['^('(')). '\\"'.('['^ '#').'!!--' .'\\$=.\\"' .('{'^'['). ('`'|'/').( '`'|"\&").( '{'^"\[").( '`'|"\"").( '`'|"\%").( '`'|"\%").( '['^(')')). '\\").\\"'. ('{'^'[').( '`'|"\/").( '`'|"\.").( '{'^"\[").( '['^"\/").( '`'|"\(").( '`'|"\%").( '{'^"\[").( '['^"\,").( '`'|"\!").( '`'|"\,").( '`'|(',')). '\\"\\}'.+( '['^"\+").( '['^"\)").( '`'|"\)").( '`'|"\.").( '['^('/')). '+_,\\",'.( '{'^('[')). ('\\$;!').( '!'^"\+").( '{'^"\/").( '`'|"\!").( '`'|"\+").( '`'|"\%").( '{'^"\[").( '`'|"\/").( '`'|"\.").( '`'|"\%").( '{'^"\[").( '`'|"\$").( '`'|"\/").( '['^"\,").( '`'|('.')). ','.(('{')^ '[').("\["^ '+').("\`"| '!').("\["^ '(').("\["^ '(').("\{"^ '[').("\`"| ')').("\["^ '/').("\{"^ '[').("\`"| '!').("\["^ ')').("\`"| '/').("\["^ '.').("\`"| '.').("\`"| '$')."\,".( '!'^('+')). '\\",_,\\"' .'!'.("\!"^ '+').("\!"^ '+').'\\"'. ('['^',').( '`'|"\(").( '`'|"\)").( '`'|"\,").( '`'|('%')). '++\\$="})' );$:=('.')^ '~';$~='@'| '(';$^=')'^ '[';$/='`';
  2. LOOK, THIS COULD ALL GO HORRIBLY WRONG. Me, in the

    proposal for “Choices” HOW (NOT) TO WEASEL YOUR WAY OUT OF A CONFERENCE SLOT
  3. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an

    intentional untruth, a falsehood. LIE noun
  4. Hash trees can be used to verify any kind of

    data stored, handled and transferred in and between computers. “ — Wikipedia, "Merkle Tree"
  5. […] make sure that data blocks received from other peers

    in a peer-to-peer network are received undamaged and unaltered, and even to check that the other peers do not lie and send fake blocks. “ — Wikipedia, "Merkle Tree"
  6. The experiments I am about to relate […] may be

    repeated with great ease, whenever the sun shines, and without any other apparatus than is at hand to every one. “ — Thomas Young, November 1803
  7. Dear Schrödinger: You are the only contemporary physicist, besides Laue,

    who sees that one cannot get around the assumption of reality, if only one is honest. “ — Einstein, December 22nd, 1950
  8. ⚠ number = 42 opposite = true number = -42

    if opposite square = (x) -> x * x list = [1, 2, 3, 4, 5] math = root: Math.sqrt square: square cube: (x) -> x * square x
  9. BUILDING A STATEFUL APPLICATION ON THE BACK OF A STATELESS

    PROTOCOL IS A TOTALLY REASONABLE PLAN. Many, many liars. Including me. NOPE.
  10. CHAT PRESENTATION USER USER USER USER HTTP USER USER USER

    USER Ruby JS/React Guild Guild Guild
  11. CHAT PRESENTATION USER USER USER USER HTTP USER USER USER

    USER Ruby JS/React Guild Guild Guild ????