The BDD hype cycle is over. Recently, there’s been a lot of backlash against popular BDD libraries like Cucumber. Some developers blame their test frameworks for brittle test suites and long build times. Others go so far as to claim that acceptance testing is simply not sustainable, period. In this talk, we’ll do some root cause analysis of this phenomenon with shocking results - it’s not the test framework, it’s not the methodology, it’s you. You’ve abused your test framework, you’ve cargo-culted the methodology, and now you’re feeling the pain. We’ll show you a way out of the mess you’ve made. We’ll discuss the main problems BDD was intended to solve. We’ll show you how to groom your test suite into journey, functional, integration, and unit tests in order to address build times. We’ll teach how to mitigate against brittleness and flickers, and how to let your tests reveal the intent of the application and actually become the executable documentation we’ve been waiting for.