Delivering (and requesting) feedback workshop

There will absolutely be times when you need to give actionable, specific feedback to your teammates. And there will definitely be times that you need to hear some feedback, too. But humans are mostly bad at giving feedback, and we’re also really bad at preparing ourselves to receive it. This is true no matter the situation - hearing that we do something at home that drives our partner crazy, or our coworker, or our boss.

In this workshop, we’ll practice turning real-world stuff into specific, actionable feedback that has a good chance of landing. Attendees will even get to practice delivering it, to see how it feels and how to prepare for saying those words - they’ll leave this workshop ready to deliver specific, actionable, and easy-to-digest feedback.

Transcript

1. Delivering (and requesting) feedback Lara Hogan, Coach + Trainer wherewithall.com
2. What was a recent ‘Hulk’ moment?
3. Brain Chemistry
6. Don’t worry, I got this!
7. 6 Core Needs palomamedina.com/biceps/
8. Belonging Community, connection 1
9. Flickr: whisperwolf
10. Improvement/ Progress Progress towards purpose, improving the lives of others 2
11. Choice Flexibility, autonomy, decision-making 3
12. Equality/Fairness Access to resources & info, equal reciprocity 4
13. Predictability Resources, time, direction, future challenges 5
14. Significance Status, visibility, recognition 6
15. Belonging Improvement/Progress Choice Equality/Fairness Predictability Significance
16. Knowing and addressing someone’s core needs is a shortcut to making them feel understood and valued. And understanding core needs is especially important right now.
17. Credit: Paloma Medina
18. Humans are bad at feedback
19. We can get better at giving and receiving feedback.
20. Good feedback is specific and actionable.
21. Feedback equation
22. observation of a behavior • Just the facts! • No assumptions of why they’re doing it • No opinions or judgments of this behavior
23. observation of a behavior impact of behavior + • Choose an impact they care about • Make it measurable
24. observation of a behavior impact of behavior question or request + +
25. observation of a behavior impact of behavior question or request + +
26. observation of a behavior impact of behavior open question + + (To ensure we’re talking about the same thing) (To align on the end goal, and motivate change) (To turn this into a two-way dialog, not a one-way brain dump)
27. Bottom-line it.
28. It can really help to practice giving feedback
29. Ask about others’ preferred feedback medium and timing
30. Remember to give positive feedback too!
31. Prep your own brain to receive feedback.
33. Have a back-pocket script.
34. Eject button + Next step
35. Hot Potato: What’s one takeaway you have? 30 seconds (Then pick the next person!)
36. Resistance → Data BONUS MATERIAL!
37. Most common responses when a threat is detected BONUS MATERIAL!
38. Common forms of resistance: Doubt Avoid Fight Bond Escape-route BONUS MATERIAL!
39. 1. Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route }Data BONUS MATERIAL!
40. Knowing and addressing someone’s core needs is a shortcut to making them feel understood and valued. BONUS MATERIAL!
41. How do we recover when we amygdala-hijack someone? BONUS MATERIAL!
42. Have a back-pocket script: Eject button + next step BONUS MATERIAL!
43. “What I learned…” “What I’ll do…” BONUS MATERIAL!
44. “I see now that when ______ happened, we messed with ______. What if next time, we instead try ___________?” BONUS MATERIAL!
45. Caveat The goal is not 100% consensus 100% of the time BONUS MATERIAL!
46. Requesting feedback as a manager or leader BONUS MATERIAL!
47. “Is there anything I can be doing differently or better?” BONUS MATERIAL!
48. “I wanted to get your thoughts on my email last week. What did you read in it? What could I have said better?” BONUS MATERIAL!
49. With your mouthwords: • Acknowledge the power dynamic (if you’re a manager/leader) • Acknowledge whenever you’ve messed something up BONUS MATERIAL!
50. “Here are some avenues to give me feedback; choose whichever feels most comfortable” BONUS MATERIAL!