Your mileage may vary. This is what has worked for me. This presentation may cause nausea, insomnia, hallucinations, tremors, and a strong desire to go back to writing unit tests. !2
thing” “…in the way that I asked. I appreciate that you remembered.” Acknowledge in private, to their boss, in public Saying nice things is hard, but gets easier !21
vs fear of failure. Perfectionism getting in the way? Teach incremental iteration. Hard/intractable problem? Let them rubber duck it with you. Isolation? Find them a mentor or tribe. !26
! “Can’t we just outsource that?” “All our PR people suck.” “I don’t know what IT thought they were doing.” “That marketing campaign was an embarrassment.” “The engineers on that team aren’t real engineers.” !27
- “You did this, and it upset me/people because…” Suggest more appropriate behaviors. Community codes of conduct. Enlist help from professional community wranglers. !34
e.g. company culture: “move fast and break things” vs “failure is not an option” vs culture of fear ! project culture: ok to call someone out vs positive feedback vs passive aggression !37
are wrong.” Controlling: “Let me just micromanage this.” Compliant: “…” (while hating everything) ! (Few of us are at our best when things are on fire.) !38
Don’t hire them. Don’t take them as customers, no matter how well they pay. Don’t accept a job working for them. Don’t tolerate these behaviors in your culture. Make it clear they are not tolerated. !43
requirements and expectations. Document everything, frequently. Try not to work with them alone (e.g. invite others to meetings). Don’t let yourself be steamrollered: don’t agree to things on the spot. Minimize interactions where possible. !45
to Understanding Human Error” - Sidney Dekker “Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go To Work” -Robert D. Hare Mozilla’s TRIBE training (for volunteers, too) !46