This paper explores the mechanized performance of fealty by marvelous mechanical bodies in early modern joyous entries in northern Europe. Colossal sculptures and paintings allegedly bowed to Philip II in 1549 and Duke François of Anjou in 1582 during their entries into Antwerp, and to Rudolf II in his 1577 entry into Vienna. I will investigate how these automated bodies meshed with the discourses of these spectacular entries. Contemporary theories of meraviglia suggest a body that conspicuously crossed the boundary between inert sculpture and animated being could still the audience into statuesque spectators, thus calling attention to the wondrousness of the machine’s manufacture as well as the wondrousness of the animating sovereign’s presence. By connecting these mechanical marvels to literary conventions of artificial bodies and automata in late sixteenth-century elite society, we can better understand why these fealty-performing bodies would have been considered ideal signals of courtly power.