Strategies for saying no

You have been working hard to meet a deadline and then you receive an email from your boss, asking you to take on a new project. You're at capacity with your time, resources, and focus, but you still feel obliged to say "yes". This scenario is common for most of us. We don't want to say "no" because we don't want to disappoint people or let them down. This is even a bigger problem when you start leading people. Saying no enables you to focus on what's important and prevent burnout. In this talk, you will take away tools and strategies to become more confident around saying no.

Transcript

1. STRATEGIES FOR SAYING NO AND WHAT WE SHOULD SAY YES TO ELLE MEREDITH » BLACKMILL » TINNIES.CLUB/@ELLE
2. EXPERIENCING REFLECTING CONCEPTUALLY THINKING ACTING CONTINUING 1 2 3 4 5
3. EXPERIENCING REFLECTING CONCEPTUALLY THINKING ACTING CONTINUING 1 2 3 4 5
4. EXPERIENCING REFLECTING CONCEPTUALLY THINKING ACTING CONTINUING 1 2 3 4 5
7. CONFLICT I HATE SAYING “NO” TO PEOPLE.
8. SELF-AWARENESS
9. ENERGY DRAINS
10. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
11. FEELING REFLECTING CONCEPTUALLY THINKING ACTING NEXT 1 2 3 4 5
12. WHICH DIRECTION?
13. A GOOD SOLID NO CAN TRAVEL IN ANY DIRECTION
14. People think focus means saying “yes” to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying “no” to a hundred other good things. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things I haven’t done as the things I have done. — Steve Jobs
16. If it's not urgent, and not important, it's time to say no THOUGHT OF THE DAY
17. FEELING REFLECTING CONCEPTUALLY THINKING ACTING CONTINUING 1 2 3 4 5
18. 1. HAVE DEFINED VISION AND GOALS MATCH YOUR TASKS TO YOUR ORGANISATION’S MISSION OR VISION STATEMENT
19. I’m focused on serving our company’s best interest of [goal here]. With that in mind, no, it’s not in our best interest for me to take on Z right now. I’m happy to revisit it [next month, next quarter, next fi scal year]–do we want to put a check-in meeting on the calendar to look at it again then? SCRIPT
20. 2. YES AND... Script: Yes we can do this, and all we will need to do is delay the start of this other project that is currently on the road map.
21. 3. ALMOST YES Script: Give me time to think about it
22. 4. NOT YET Script: I can help you with X once you’ve done Y
23. 5. DELEGATE Script: I can’t help you with this, but Bob can
24. 6. CREATE POLICIES Script: Issues like this belong to the rostered support person, this week that is...
25. 7. HELP ME SAY YES Script: Ask more questions!!
26. 8. APPEAL TO BUDGET Script: we have 15 people from the team that would like to attend Rails Conf. This means x expense for the company…
27. 9. RIP THE BANDAGE OFF DEFINE CLEAR BOUNDARIES
28. 10. EXPLAIN THE WHY
29. 11. ACT TOGETHER AS A TEAM
30. Your team is collectively smarter than you simply because there are more of them. More importantly, by including them in the decision process and creating a team where they feel they can say no, you’re creating trust. — Michael Lopp, Managing Humans, p. 129
31. WORKING WITH PEOPLE PLEASERS Script: you can pause working on X while you work on my new shiny feature…
32. Someone has asked you to do a task that isn't part of your normal responsibilities. Scenario 1 Have de f ined vision and goals . 1 Yes and … .2 Almost yes .3 Not yet .4 Delegate .5 Create policies .6 Help me say yes .7 Appeal to budget .8 Rip the bandage off .9 Explain the why .10 Act together as a team .11 SCENARIOS
33. Your manager just asked you to do something that was not scheduled for this sprint. What do you say? Scenario 2 Have de f ined vision and goals . 1 Yes and … .2 Almost yes .3 Not yet .4 Delegate .5 Create policies .6 Help me say yes .7 Appeal to budget .8 Rip the bandage off .9 Explain the why .10 Act together as a team .11 SCENARIOS
34. FEELING REFLECTING CONCEPTUALLY THINKING ACTING CONTINUING 1 2 3 4 5
35. Photo credit: Ian Zabel
36. SAYING YES TO WHAT'S IMPORTANT
37. SETTING GOALS
38. Saying no is saying “stop,” and in a valley full of people who thrive on endless movement, the ability to strategically choose when it’s time to stop is the sign of a manager willing to defy convention. — Michael Lopp, Managing Humans, p. 128
39. WHAT'S WORTH DOING? What is urgent? and important? ELLE MEREDITH » BLACKMILL » TINNIES.CLUB/@ELLE